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    dots Submission Name: Flesh & Blooddots

    Author: C. Starr
    ASL Info:    35/yesplz/State of denial
    Elite Ratio:    4.22 - 130/196/68
    Words: 200
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1034
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1155

       Written in 1995.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFlesh & Blooddots

    Flesh and Blood I am......
    and I have pain,
    Highs...and lows I can't sustain.
    If you damage my pride, I may weep,
    At night I close my eyes and try to sleep,
    A terrifying nightmare and I awake.
    I am real, my bones can break.
    When I cut myself...just like you..I bleed,
    If you pushed me down I would find it hard to succeed.
    But if you helped me up....I'd walk away,
    I'm only human and that's the natural way.
    Yes, if you gave me an illness, I might die,
    You throw me on the streets and I would have to try and survive.
    If you denied me of my daily bread,
    Well then , a few days later you'd find me dead.
    But say you broke my heart,
    And left my soul torn apart.......
    You'd find me laying right where I am.....
    Analyzing every word you had ever said.....
    and never begining to understand.
    I would still love you and cry because your gone,
    And I'll forever think your wrong.

    Flesh & Blood I am.......
    and I have pain.

    Submitted on 2005-04-14 03:14:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i like this. It amke s you feel volnerabel and makes you want to reach out to the person and help them at the same time.

    i especially like this part

    If you pushed me down I would find it hard to succeed.
    But if you helped me up...I'd walk away,
    I'm only human and that's the natural way,

    Its a little rough but i like the meaning keep writing.
    | Posted on 2005-07-25 00:00:00 | by WandWielder | [ Reply to This ]
      ok at this rate i'm going to become a stalker of yours
    being in a band myself i can really relate to your style
    and if you would like to read my lates read pain and misery
    | Posted on 2005-05-01 00:00:00 | by DonKB | [ Reply to This ]
    Regretfully I haven't yet read all of your poems, but I think this one, until now is THE BEST ONE. Amazing... Yah, maybe a little patching up with the structure of the poem would make it more beautiful to look at.

    Maybe you could change this line here:

    Yes, if you gave me an illness, I would die

    It seems a little silly and forced just to fill up that space. Perhaps if you rephrased it. The rest sounded good. A little forced rhyming here and there.

    I felt completely vulnerable when I read this poem. It's true, we are but flesh and blood. I can't imagine why you wrote this...what inspired you to do so... but it still seems freshly written.

    Great work!
    | Posted on 2005-04-16 00:00:00 | by silverdrika | [ Reply to This ]

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