Description: Ever wish you had a "delete" button you can press whenever bad memories or thoughts haunt you? Well, this is pretty much what the poem is about.
Mind of it's own -------------------------------------------
Useless piece of memory I remind myself as my mind starts wondering
Things are good now, please let it be
Whenever I’m alone I can feel you crawling under my skin and my breathing gets faster
Within a second you through a blanket over the sun and let the demons loose in me
Your descend upon me is swift and destructive
You get what you want and then you leave
My innocent rapist which I house inside my skull
One day you’ll surely cause the death of me
my restless mind of insanity
- Within a second you through a blanket : shd be throw.
- Your descend upon : shd be descent. Descend is the verb.
Otherwise I like the way you weaved this one. And it is very realistic. It is weird how a bad memory can erase the happiness of a day.
I like the sexual intonation you gave it, and I actually like the image of innocent rapist. Cos a memory is just a memory and the one recalling it is the mind. So the mid is the one responsible and the memory is just the innocent rapist or tool.
I like the way you ended this. It is as if you say it is all in the mind
"Your descend upon me is swift and destructive" - Cannot decide whether there are enough 's' sounds for it to be sibilance, but even if not - it works, and it works very well. The fact that it is the only stand-alone sentence, where all others are paired, makes it even more emphatic. It's striking - in every meaning of the word.
Very powerful stuff. I am impressed. I love the independance of your poem. Every line could stand on its own with no problem. You have an interesting style. This piece was very well written
Submission Name: Mind of it's own
