In Sanguinity by Magnolia

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Submission Name: In Sanguinity dots

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Author:	Magnolia
ASL Info:	31/ F
Elite Ratio:	6.14 - 402/377/27
Words:	107

Class/Type:	Poetry/Misc
Total Views:	300
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	735

Description:

In Sanguinity dots

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leaving my body--
the fragrant gizzards,
bits of sanity and [in]sanity
strewn about for
consumption by those
who would
lie
in
wait...
some spit
with disdain,
dribbling "trite" offerings
down
bestial jowls--
some savor
the delectable nectar,
lapping lustfully,
unsatiated.

hovering above
the fresh kill,
in sanguinity,
and bidding bare bones
farewell,

I take flight.

I am off
in search of
my next incarnation,
another feast
for those who would not
be satisfied.

Submitted on 2005-04-14 08:55:23 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  hmm. I've read this a few times before but have as of yet been able to put together the words to describe what I think of it.

K. Lemme get it rolling by saying that the title caught my attention when you submitted it because I used the word sanguinity in my autobiography - I mean featured piece - and to a large extent, although it was but one word in a wordy piece, I feel like we tapped into much of the same feeling. At least that is what I get from this...a feeling of being looked through...seen as an afterthought without appreciating the electricity that once ran through us...

for this seems to be the tale of your soul gladly leaving your unappreciated existence, in search of a body more meaningful. Sure, there is sadness in taking delight in your earthly death, but then there is something wonderful, exhilarating in a soul that seeks more.

and then there is another poem within this poem that almost renders the meaning behind the words unnescessary...they just sound so good together

fragrant gizzards,/bits of sanity

delectable nectar,/lapping lustfully

they bounce, even though the meaning behind them can be taken to be macabre in nature

The short lines do the piece well in briskly moving it along...you start strong and end strong and ultimately you leave the reader with something to contemplate...for me I was thinking more along the lines of how well this was constructed than I was the meaning behind it, but then again I've had so many out-of-body experiences in my lifetime that the subject matter seemed second-nature...I was more fascinated in the way you went about describing it, and watching the continued developement of a blossoming poet/artist.
| Posted on 2005-04-19 00:00:00 | by deadndreaming | [ Reply to This ]
  I like how you play on the origin of the word sanguinty in this. Some do find happiness in blood. I also think that it's cool because you imply a sort of cosanguinity with your future selves.

leaving my body-
the fragrant gizzards,
bits of sanity and [in]sanity
strewn about for
consumption by those
who would
lie
in
wait...

I like the clever typography of "bits of sanity and [in]sanity." This world is full of these people who are like predators bloodthirsty for sensitive The idea of offering yourself for martyrdom knowing that your body is as much a vessel as a Coke bottle is interesting. I like this piece a lot.
| Posted on 2005-04-16 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
  I thought of people sucking other's dry, stealing what they can from them and leaving them to rot alone unhappy and I wondered about the sanguinity of this. how you could be cheerful but I suppose you meant that in relation to your next incarnation, which hopefully would be better than this one and not one for buzzards to feast on. this made me feel sad, I guess, because I too have been made to feel this way by certain people who have no compassion for others, no regard for their feelings. I am trying not let those people in anymore or let them have what I have left. I deserve much more than that. we all do. very powerful writing. loved the words and the flow and the emotion. nice work.
| Posted on 2005-04-15 00:00:00 | by sierramuse8 | [ Reply to This ]
  "Consumption by those
who would
lie
in
wait..." - Very, very powerful. To me, each line break here was like a step of those 'in wait' - you're surrounded and yet you cannot see your captors. Emotional ambush; a pack of jackals, scowling at and scared of you - until you're on your knees, and then they are kings... But you pull the character out of that, towards a damned salvation - which is both inspiring and saddening at the same time...
| Posted on 2005-04-15 00:00:00 | by Katia | [ Reply to This ]
  Those who would drink your soul and not give you something to receive? Of them, we take names and don't ask questions. We just leave remembering the stark coldness of the empty void. Escape hatches are essential, usually I am flying out of my body, just to prevent a full-blown catas.. trophy.

But I hear in this the mindlessness of people in general, that compassion is nowhere unless we feel our own brand of grief. It''s almost like we must attract enough suffering to realize what kind we cause. Rene' this is stark and yet wise, revealing. I mentioned to a friend today how my spirit "jumped out of my body" when I was attacked one time, I literally moved across the room and looked back at myself. Call it preservation, that's what this write is about...taking to the sky. Great job, thanks so much.
peace and love,
Nan
| Posted on 2005-04-14 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
  ooo, this is a little creepy... the image of vultures i see dining on a delectable corpse where the soul has flown on to bigger and better things. this is very vivid. it makes me think a little of how you've been feeling lately with the writing thing, thinking you have to write for other people who "spit with disdain" or "lap[ping] lustfully unsatiated." but you've moved on, your soul flying free to be you. just a thought. good job! glad to see the muse has returned from her long coffee break!
| Posted on 2005-04-14 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
  You know everything we read is viewed in the light of what is going on around us at the time, and as morbidly as you have colored this, I can't help but think that this message is, in very different words, what the late pope John Paul II might have said to us. Rather akin to his predecessor saying, "eat of my body...drink of my blood"
Don't know if that was what you were going for, but that's what struck me, again,
in the light of the present time.
Dave
| Posted on 2005-04-14 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]

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