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    dots Submission Name: My Butt Itchesdots

    Author: BenCollier
    Elite Ratio:    3.72 - 425/386/88
    Words: 132
    Class/Type: Spoof/Comedy
    Total Views: 1092
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 897

       A silly parody of Hamlet, I hope Ole Bill Shakespear isn't turning over in his grave because of this.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Butt Itchesdots

    To scratch or not to scratch
    that is the question.
    Weather it is nobler in mind
    to suffer the pain and uncomfort
    then cast inhibition asunder and
    relish in a good scratching.

    Perchance to be seen and branded,
    labled an uncouth malcontent.
    Or to suffer the slings and arrows
    of a thousand eyes and sneers.

    My finger, my friend a stealthy protrubance
    Oh brave friend of mine
    nay shall I cease your counsel
    nor release your satisfaction.
    For you are true the satisfier
    of disturbing itching.

    To sneak in a clandestine fashion
    and release mine displeasure.
    AHHHH the satisfaction, the comfort
    You have done the job so well
    and now a sniff, a sniff that acknowledges
    I need to wipe better

    Submitted on 2005-04-14 09:09:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Really Good. Thanks for asking me to read it. There seems to be so much fun hidden in the lil things that we do. Liked the style you used. I am sure such kind of poetry strikes like a bolt from the blue. Sheer Genius.!
    | Posted on 2006-08-22 00:00:00 | by kochu | [ Reply to This ]
      Lol this was really great feels like your an old English writer. You definitly got talent and great work here! Keep at it and you will go far. You turned a really corny and boring idea into something interesting and somehow, descriptive, lol bravo
    | Posted on 2005-11-16 00:00:00 | by winterdove | [ Reply to This ]
      now this is quite the turn for me here to read something like this….oh my freaking god ha ha ha hee hee this is funny as hell you have laughing the whole way through this motha! ok a few corrections here really minor harmless ones hmm line 4, I would suggest “weather” should be turned into “whether” and let’s see “discomfort” as opposed to “uncomfort” in stanza 2 “labled” should be “labeled” in stanza 3 “protrubance” change to “protuberance” everything else looks on the up and up here. my lord ha ha this is so much unconventional fun. wonderful adaptation the Shakespeare and I do love Shakespeare myself. I am sure he would be honored to know his play got such a wild spoof. a sniff at the end my word totally awful but very funny ha ha so cool. oh the brave finger indeed, the places where one would put the poor little fleshy guy. wonderful job here love it,

    | Posted on 2005-11-13 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]
    but still, funny! gross-funny poems get old and immature after a while, but i like the Shakespeare style you used...funny..& gross..
    | Posted on 2005-11-05 00:00:00 | by Avril54 | [ Reply to This ]
      Gross... HA HA HA HA.... you are a character!! This was great. Where did you write this? obviously this happened in public. I did love the way it was put into an old english wording, using a bit from shakespear to make it familiarzing. LOL LOL
    | Posted on 2005-07-20 00:00:00 | by kriley6497 | [ Reply to This ]
      Laffn here hard now this was funny...have you any shame laffn still...now what made you think to write this in such a shakespere way? Anyhow I enjoyed this parody laffn and shaking my head you work shakespere Ben! I can see you reading this on stage My Butt Iches wow! `always poetry, cheryl.
    | Posted on 2005-04-14 00:00:00 | by ladyngold | [ Reply to This ]
      After years of studying Shakespeare, teaching Shakespeare, writing about Shakespeare, all I can say is: this is great :) Funny, quirky - and definitely a side step from Hamlet's troubled soliloquys. Maybe if he had considered your version of 'The Question', things wouldnt have gotten so rotten in the state of Denmark :)

    I think I might have to just let my fellow students know about this...
    | Posted on 2005-04-14 00:00:00 | by Katia | [ Reply to This ]
      This was hysterical. Maybe if Shakespear had written like this, it wouldn't be so boring to read in highschool. The ending was pure perfection. I salute you!
    | Posted on 2005-04-14 00:00:00 | by wannabe1 | [ Reply to This ]
      Marriage has given you even more freedom of expression ~ just remember 2 put the toilet seat down (don't you hate when you go @ night in the dark & sit down & fall in! he he he) I haven't ever read anything of yours that didn't have merit, truth and beauty! I asked ole' William & he LHAO2! Love, Peace, Joy and many blessings 2 you and your family ; > }
    | Posted on 2005-04-14 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      OMG! Ben, honey, you alright today? LMFAO

    This was awesome! I am lovin it. *tears up* I am really laughin at you right now. What in the world...inticed you into writing this? LOL

    You are crazy! Yet, that's why I loves ya!

    Great job babes!

    Li Li
    | Posted on 2005-04-14 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      ok ... this was beyond funny this was plain out hilarious such comedy with such intricate language LOL ooh god lol so disturbing but yet so freaking funny!
    | Posted on 2005-04-14 00:00:00 | by Shadows Life | [ Reply to This ]
      LoL. This is only the second piece I think I've read by you, but you're work that I've read is just so silly and amusing. I see you enjoy your parodies! This is def. another one for the favs. I love Shakespeare, and I think he too would get a good chuckle from this. I know I'm still laughing. And before I go *hands Ben a roll of toliet paper* Use it!
    | Posted on 2005-04-14 00:00:00 | by painofthanatos | [ Reply to This ]
      *dry heaves, while laughing* That was great! My God, what brought this on, Ben? Oh, you spelled weather wrong. It's supposed to be whether... I'm a perfectionist when it comes to spelling.... The last line was hilarious. Way to wrap up the poem. This is very original... For some reason, it reminds me of something that Shel Silverstein might've written. The comedy, the twists, the tragedy... ROFL! Thank you! You have made my day so much brighter... I needed a good laugh!
    | Posted on 2005-04-14 00:00:00 | by Areinaka | [ Reply to This ]

    but funny...

    Nice parody. You have a twisted mind and too much time on your hands... ;-)

    [dumb box say i need more words...]
    | Posted on 2005-04-14 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
      Okay...This was well a unique yet corny idea but it was funny as hell! I like what you did with the language tuning in and out from Shakesperean to modern day standard English. Brilliant idea. Corny and funny at the same time.

    | Posted on 2005-04-14 00:00:00 | by xtremegentleman | [ Reply to This ]

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