Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I tried once moredots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: nwproud
    ASL Info:    27 / vancouver, wa
    Elite Ratio:    5.62 - 280/243/64
    Words: 159
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 737
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1005



    Description:
       I saw her, because i wanted to, 2 months ago, I thought it could all happen, maybe i expected too much, but with her, I could never forgive myself for not trying, even if I lose her in the end once more...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI tried once moredots
    -------------------------------------------


    Agression, in your kiss, belief, in mine,
    led to hope in each our hearts,
    with a taste of what was to come,
    and a feel for the letdown inevitable.
    Trying to understand as it happened,
    it only made sense to take your hand,
    and just like the girl you are,
    you held tight because it was there.
    We both knew it had been awhile,
    since in this spot we were together,
    suppose it was only the memories,
    which made us do what we did?
    No other explanation for it all,
    you left in the same manner,
    leaving me with the same sorrow,
    leaving me alone to make it make sense.
    Turning round, one year later,
    regret cannot justify the feeling,
    for it was not new this time,
    no, moreso, it was much the same.
    The memory is all that's left of you,
    though more was never expected.
    Unexpected is the emotion you bring,
    because you're not even here!




    Submitted on 2005-04-14 21:03:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Very sad poem man. Still it's very good. Love is hard and can hurt deeply. Maybee you will be with her again when you get back and maybee you wont. Dont try killing yourself like I did because of someone I you loved. If it's not gonna happen then you need to move on.
    | Posted on 2005-04-16 00:00:00 | by musclebound350 | [ Reply to This ]
      anger and yearning at the same time
    im speechless and awed,

    For ive never read your work before and I must say, unfortunately i have no criticism for you :(

    But the girl in this piece should be chatised athousand times over

    I enjoyed it alot
    Lolavie
    | Posted on 2005-04-15 00:00:00 | by lolavie | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey tony...ONce again, a great piece..

    "Trying to understand as it happened,
    it only made sense to take your hand,
    and just like the girl you are,
    you held tight because it was there."

    this is the best part..i really like this whole piece though. Dont regret anything..life isnt long enough for it.
    | Posted on 2005-04-15 00:00:00 | by longwinterdays | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the first line as well, i guess it's really the only line that is metaphoric but thats not really the right word ...putting words with a kiss that aren't typical.
    and it does have a lot of strong emotion, i think it's just one of those where you had to say something, had to express this feeling and you did that. as far poetry goes i think you've expressed this same feeling better in your other writings. is that picture you ? you look just as i pictured !
    damn i'm good !
    late
    CC
    | Posted on 2005-04-14 00:00:00 | by C. Starr | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    54642

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    The World written by jjd
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry