Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I tried once moredots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: nwproud
    ASL Info:    27 / vancouver, wa
    Elite Ratio:    5.62 - 280/243/64
    Words: 159
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 847
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1005



    Description:
       I saw her, because i wanted to, 2 months ago, I thought it could all happen, maybe i expected too much, but with her, I could never forgive myself for not trying, even if I lose her in the end once more...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI tried once moredots
    -------------------------------------------


    Agression, in your kiss, belief, in mine,
    led to hope in each our hearts,
    with a taste of what was to come,
    and a feel for the letdown inevitable.
    Trying to understand as it happened,
    it only made sense to take your hand,
    and just like the girl you are,
    you held tight because it was there.
    We both knew it had been awhile,
    since in this spot we were together,
    suppose it was only the memories,
    which made us do what we did?
    No other explanation for it all,
    you left in the same manner,
    leaving me with the same sorrow,
    leaving me alone to make it make sense.
    Turning round, one year later,
    regret cannot justify the feeling,
    for it was not new this time,
    no, moreso, it was much the same.
    The memory is all that's left of you,
    though more was never expected.
    Unexpected is the emotion you bring,
    because you're not even here!




    Submitted on 2005-04-14 21:03:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Very sad poem man. Still it's very good. Love is hard and can hurt deeply. Maybee you will be with her again when you get back and maybee you wont. Dont try killing yourself like I did because of someone I you loved. If it's not gonna happen then you need to move on.
    | Posted on 2005-04-16 00:00:00 | by musclebound350 | [ Reply to This ]
      anger and yearning at the same time
    im speechless and awed,

    For ive never read your work before and I must say, unfortunately i have no criticism for you :(

    But the girl in this piece should be chatised athousand times over

    I enjoyed it alot
    Lolavie
    | Posted on 2005-04-15 00:00:00 | by lolavie | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey tony...ONce again, a great piece..

    "Trying to understand as it happened,
    it only made sense to take your hand,
    and just like the girl you are,
    you held tight because it was there."

    this is the best part..i really like this whole piece though. Dont regret anything..life isnt long enough for it.
    | Posted on 2005-04-15 00:00:00 | by longwinterdays | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the first line as well, i guess it's really the only line that is metaphoric but thats not really the right word ...putting words with a kiss that aren't typical.
    and it does have a lot of strong emotion, i think it's just one of those where you had to say something, had to express this feeling and you did that. as far poetry goes i think you've expressed this same feeling better in your other writings. is that picture you ? you look just as i pictured !
    damn i'm good !
    late
    CC
    | Posted on 2005-04-14 00:00:00 | by C. Starr | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    54642

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    untitled written by Chelebel
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    Born of the Mouth written by MyPeriodical
    Sunt Mala Quae Libas written by MyPeriodical
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Last to Walk the Earth written by HisNameIsNoMore
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the Epilogue written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Stretto written by saartha
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    By the bar written by expiring_touch
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    This written by Chelebel
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry