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    dots Submission Name: I tried once moredots

    Author: nwproud
    ASL Info:    27 / vancouver, wa
    Elite Ratio:    5.62 - 280/243/64
    Words: 159
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1157
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1005

       I saw her, because i wanted to, 2 months ago, I thought it could all happen, maybe i expected too much, but with her, I could never forgive myself for not trying, even if I lose her in the end once more...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI tried once moredots

    Agression, in your kiss, belief, in mine,
    led to hope in each our hearts,
    with a taste of what was to come,
    and a feel for the letdown inevitable.
    Trying to understand as it happened,
    it only made sense to take your hand,
    and just like the girl you are,
    you held tight because it was there.
    We both knew it had been awhile,
    since in this spot we were together,
    suppose it was only the memories,
    which made us do what we did?
    No other explanation for it all,
    you left in the same manner,
    leaving me with the same sorrow,
    leaving me alone to make it make sense.
    Turning round, one year later,
    regret cannot justify the feeling,
    for it was not new this time,
    no, moreso, it was much the same.
    The memory is all that's left of you,
    though more was never expected.
    Unexpected is the emotion you bring,
    because you're not even here!

    Submitted on 2005-04-14 21:03:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Very sad poem man. Still it's very good. Love is hard and can hurt deeply. Maybee you will be with her again when you get back and maybee you wont. Dont try killing yourself like I did because of someone I you loved. If it's not gonna happen then you need to move on.
    | Posted on 2005-04-16 00:00:00 | by musclebound350 | [ Reply to This ]
      anger and yearning at the same time
    im speechless and awed,

    For ive never read your work before and I must say, unfortunately i have no criticism for you :(

    But the girl in this piece should be chatised athousand times over

    I enjoyed it alot
    | Posted on 2005-04-15 00:00:00 | by lolavie | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey tony...ONce again, a great piece..

    "Trying to understand as it happened,
    it only made sense to take your hand,
    and just like the girl you are,
    you held tight because it was there."

    this is the best part..i really like this whole piece though. Dont regret anything..life isnt long enough for it.
    | Posted on 2005-04-15 00:00:00 | by longwinterdays | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the first line as well, i guess it's really the only line that is metaphoric but thats not really the right word ...putting words with a kiss that aren't typical.
    and it does have a lot of strong emotion, i think it's just one of those where you had to say something, had to express this feeling and you did that. as far poetry goes i think you've expressed this same feeling better in your other writings. is that picture you ? you look just as i pictured !
    damn i'm good !
    | Posted on 2005-04-14 00:00:00 | by C. Starr | [ Reply to This ]

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