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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: You sworedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: bloodwing
    Elite Ratio:    3.37 - 453/512/118
    Words: 67
    Class/Type: Lyrics/What you did
    Total Views: 226
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 465



    Description:
       It's not finished by any means. Just something I came up with tonight in the shower.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYou sworedots
    -------------------------------------------


    SO HIT ME WITH YOUR LIE
    that you swore before.
    You told me you loved me-
    you loved me, you swore.

    It's half past heartache
    on my arms and on my sleeve,
    and it's to late to start over
    all over
    it's over
    all over again
    it's over
    all over
    we're over.
    It's over- all over-
    written all over your face.







    Submitted on 2005-04-14 22:07:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I thought the overs were over-done. Another stanza would flesh this out alot better and maybe using the overs in two parts instead of just one.

    As it is meant to be lyrical... That'd be more or less part of your chorus and I'd have a primary and secondary voice such as
    'all over'
    '(it's over)'
    all over
    '(it's over)
    again.

    Let us know when you finish it.
    | Posted on 2005-07-04 00:00:00 | by homeless | [ Reply to This ]
      awww. so sad. wish it weren't over? but u know what? lies suck. they are probably the most stupid things ever invinted. i should know. too bad too huh? it short but has meaning and i like that. i tend to draw my stuff out cause i make sure i am clear. but anyways. lol. hope to read more ~cat~
    | Posted on 2005-04-17 00:00:00 | by dancer06 | [ Reply to This ]



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