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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: "Summer"dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: C. Flava
    ASL Info:    19/M/ILLINOIS
    Elite Ratio:    4.75 - 87/117/28
    Words: 30
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nature
    Total Views: 894
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 299



    Description:
       Just something that I thought of while listen to the rain.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots "Summer"dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Gentle bites
    Kissing light
    Childish tease
    A summer's brezze

    Hellified lust
    Earthshattering rush
    Blissful pain
    A summer's rain

    Dripping sweat
    Desiring rest
    Heavenly moonlight
    A summer's night




    Submitted on 2005-04-15 12:17:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Ahh, summer, can't wait for it to get here. Nice poem. I like the second stanza, it has an interesting way about it that makes it my favorite, and it's different, yet goes with the flow of your other stanzas. Well holla at me when you get a chance, 2nd love.
    | Posted on 2005-04-18 00:00:00 | by Charlenee | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this write alot. But the only thing that I picked up that was wrong was this
    A summer's brezze
    It is spelled breeze. But I am sure you knew that, because it probably was a typo. Man, gosh you have this rhyming schemes, and they are so amazing. If I was trying to do something like that, they all would be forced.

    My favorite part was

    Dripping sweat
    Desiring rest
    Heavenly moonlight
    A summer's night

    That to me, it sounds so powerful.
    Well I think I am gonna add this to my favs.
    ill read more of your writes.
    stephanie
    | Posted on 2005-04-16 00:00:00 | by XxStephyxX04 | [ Reply to This ]
      hey...
    I hate to repeat what other ppl already said, but I have no other words. Short, simple and sweet. The three s's, hehe. I did so like the lack of full sentences. It flashes small scenes in your eyes. And I imagine you sitting by a large window while the raindrops patter outside while you were writing this. Hehe... stereotyped image of a rain themed poem. Anyway, good work.

    I especially liked the first part:

    Gentle bites
    Kissing light
    Childish tease
    A summer's brezze >> ah, yes, maskannai did say so, a slight gramatical mistake, but something that small slips easily.

    drika
    | Posted on 2005-04-15 00:00:00 | by silverdrika | [ Reply to This ]
      Very sweet and short..
    First of all though, before I forget, It's spelled BREEZE not BREZZE.. Just thought I would capitalize it so it is noticed.. lol
    Ahem, ok, this is a very cute piece.. The first stanza makes me think of a windy summer day when kids are out running through the grass in bare feet, trying to get their little home-made kites to fly..
    The second stanza I'm not so sure about..It seems like a huge thunderstorm that blows in and chases them inside their houses, tattered kites in hand..
    The third stanza seems to be when they go to sleep, the torrential downpour still going on outside their windows..
    Very nice piece..
    | Posted on 2005-04-15 00:00:00 | by Maskannai | [ Reply to This ]


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