Kaught
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Description:
Resubmit, PLEASE DON'T JUST CLICK OUT, LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!!!
Even if it's the worse thing you've ever read!
Even if it's the worse thing you've ever read!
Kaught
You burst into the cool of night hear his voice, stars shine bright. Running through the underbrush... Quick, here they come! Hurry...Hurry Now! Double back... Let them run. Holy howls rend the air.. tripping, running back, see who feel into your lair. Watching..... 'Round the hold many eyes are lite Brethern from every nation flit Gather round...... we caught HIM in the pit. We now see how justice lies the faulted seed with no disguise he thought to see us die... We wait to see him fry! |
Submitted on 2005-04-16 18:51:08 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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| The pacing on this one is stunning. It moves with force cuz of your phrasing and short strong wording. It made me frantic as I read it which IMO is what this piece is all about. The frantic moves of night. "Running through the underbrush" my fave line | Posted on 2005-06-25 00:00:00 | by childs | [ Reply to This ] | i think that this is a wonderful piece. you did some really great work with this but you seem to always do well with your pieces. great work lia | | Posted on 2005-05-28 00:00:00 | by lili | [ Reply to This ] | i liked the "holy howls." you have a few typos... "lite" should be "lit," "hold" should be "hole," and "feel" should be "fell." sorry, i don't mean to be the typo police! it'll just read better with the right words. i like this, that we shine the light right at the devil and catch him in his misdeeds. hooray for the good side! i'm curious as to why you spelled caught with a k...? | | Posted on 2005-04-20 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ] | I wish I could give you something to help you achieve what you want but I am still under constrution myself smile. Rhyme and reason always impresses me. `Appreciating always, cheryl. | | Posted on 2005-04-16 00:00:00 | by ladyngold | [ Reply to This ] | |
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