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    dots Submission Name: Hedonistic Hebetudedots

    Author: BenCollier
    Elite Ratio:    3.72 - 425/386/88
    Words: 159
    Class/Type: Prose/Passion
    Total Views: 596
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1092

       An afternoon of bliss and the stark reality of family life for second marriage newlyweds.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHedonistic Hebetudedots

    A hammock for two, bathed in a warm April sun
    Quiet, self-indulgance of each other
    The sun's heat enhanced by her already burning sensuality

    Limbs entwined as the new growth above us sway their approval
    Kaliedoscopic colors and wafting spring scents
    fuel the perfection of the moment
    The creak of the hammock as a metronome, sets the rhythm of our undulation

    Butterflys and dragonflys hover effortlessly on the wind
    humming bird wingbeats and a birdsong
    A symphony of nature serenades us

    She traces her tongue down my chest and belly
    A breeze cools as the fire builds
    I take her nipple, it stiffens as I tongue it gently
    Her breathing quickens into short forced gasps

    The culmination is certain, a natural feast
    Reality beckons, a cruel slap of reason
    The children, their stealthful scampering approaching
    It bursts the moment they wail, "whens' lunch?"

    Submitted on 2005-04-17 13:50:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is a piece that puts a smile on my face. You take such a private little moment in a sea of a million others and make it stand out. The best part is I can see everything in my head, i could even hear the kids running towards you and felt a moment of panic as your minds realize that soon you would no longer be alone. I can always count on you to remind me of what love feels like and some days it is exactly what i need. so thank you and keep em' coming
    | Posted on 2005-04-25 00:00:00 | by Ann | [ Reply to This ]
      gotta love the kids...

    anyway, i thought this was a pretty decent piece. i think you captured that moment quite well as you froze it in a subtle disguise. frozen yet still active. [good move]

    there's really nothing to complain about in this piece.

    it was well written.
    | Posted on 2005-04-17 00:00:00 | by ANGELO | [ Reply to This ]
      RRRrrrrrr...good 4 u both & your sunsual hammock adventures! Yep, kids say the darndest things & always @ a time when it's not most opportune. But as you said, that's reality. I'm glad you can get the best of both worlds! Love, Peace, Joy & Hammock Hanky!
    | Posted on 2005-04-17 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      Dang kids...lol. You created such a beautifil and peaceful picture. But I can't help but wonder how hard it would be to do it in a hammock. Heh.
    | Posted on 2005-04-17 00:00:00 | by Amberdy | [ Reply to This ]
      Jesus, Dave, how can you burst my bubble like that? You drag me up the ladder, dangle from the diving board, then the bloody kids let the water out of the pool!
    Nicely written, mate, I dare you to try and write a hate poem, I bet you can't. LOL
    | Posted on 2005-04-17 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmmm, this is enough to warm up anyone's Sunday afternoon. I loved the way you described the nature scene, and the sensually vivid emotions being felt (very hot)... and then..being intrusively interrupted by kids wanting their lunch...lol.

    Very nice..
    It is a beautiful day here in the south isn't it?

    A most enjoyable read.
    | Posted on 2005-04-17 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]

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