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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: River Songdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Epiphany
    ASL Info:    42/F/Universe
    Elite Ratio:    4.38 - 3342/2139/390
    Words: 19
    Class/Type: Prose/Love
    Total Views: 539
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 179



    Description:
       Yep, another glorious river piece. The kayakerz were enjoying the full flow of the American River as they played in their kayakz.

    Great day to all and Love, Peace, Joy!!!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRiver Songdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Kayakerz
    Yellow
    Red
    Blue
    skipping acrss
    wavez as "i"
    skipped rocks
    across the
    River's edge





    Submitted on 2005-04-17 17:14:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This was very creative and unique. (I'm not sure if this is your usual style, because this is the first poem of yours I've read) I really like the alternative spellings and the simple yet effective imagery you created.
    Very enjoyable :)

    Stw
    | Posted on 2005-04-17 00:00:00 | by Stwcjj | [ Reply to This ]
      Its is very easy to get an image from this one. I kinda picture a "Huck Finn" moment...because of the river and the stone throwing on a bright and sunny day. Natural joy. Nice job.
    | Posted on 2005-04-17 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this; it was simple and elegent and seemed to capture just one singular moment vividly. It was sort of like a poetic picture of just one scene in one place. It had that sort of briefness and fluid motion that hiakus tend to have.
    My only little crtiqué is that you forgot the letter "o" in the word "across", which I'm assuming is a typoe; but I can't be particular about it because I'm rather notorious for them myself.
    Over all though I enjoyed this.

    =Emma =
    | Posted on 2005-04-17 00:00:00 | by Emma_closes | [ Reply to This ]


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