This was very creative and unique. (I'm not sure if this is your usual style, because this is the first poem of yours I've read) I really like the alternative spellings and the simple yet effective imagery you created. Very enjoyable :)
I liked this; it was simple and elegent and seemed to capture just one singular moment vividly. It was sort of like a poetic picture of just one scene in one place. It had that sort of briefness and fluid motion that hiakus tend to have. My only little crtiqué is that you forgot the letter "o" in the word "across", which I'm assuming is a typoe; but I can't be particular about it because I'm rather notorious for them myself. Over all though I enjoyed this.