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ASL Info:    30/F*GA
Elite Ratio:    3.53 - 44 /68 /23
Words: 115
Class/Type: Poetry /Broken
Total Views: 1074
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 730



Perhaps one day you’ll learn
What you already know is true
You can’t count on a man
He will always lie to you
If you fall for his tricks
In a river of tears you’ll find
you’re drowning in disappointment
and it will happened every time
If you think you have someone
with whom you belong
you’d better think again girlfriend,
that 411's all wrong
I know what you are seeking
I’ve been looking for it too
Don’t ever expect to find it
No man’s good enough for you
So forget about that fairy tail
Stop looking for Mr Right
For you will only meet him
When you fall asleep at night

Submitted on 2005-04-18 03:49:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  I quite like this one.

It's got a very kind of "hurt in the past" tone, but is not melancholy or backward looking in the slightest. You have stated some facts and as a man I agree with you on many points, but I do know men who are different. I like the way you haven't come across all Gloria Gaynor either.

It reminded me of the overheard girls conversations over wine. A good read well written..
| Posted on 2005-04-18 00:00:00 | by Sanny | [ Reply to This ]
  Hee hee hee :) I like this, it brings on waves of emotions...First laughter...then sadness...and then, if youre not careful, dark, gloomy splinters of expectations...

Don't know whether this was intended - but I saw (and loved) a reference to 'Alice in Wonderland' - 'in the river of tears you'll find'...If this was intended- I applaud you, for it made me think about all sorts of expectations and realisations, not just relationships-related. If not, Im going to applaud you anyway, for I enjoyed it :)

All the best,

| Posted on 2005-04-18 00:00:00 | by Katia | [ Reply to This ]
  I like your poem and your ideas, by the way you write it seems that you have had many relationships were you were dissapointed by the guys you dated. There are guys out there who are just down right dirt but believe me when i say that there are good ones out there too, after all there has to be a balance no? For me, i havent found the right one yet, but i will in time, maybe you usually fall for those arrogant-narcisstic-attention-seeking-[censored]s who are only looking for a good time look elsewhere try meeting new people with like minds. i like your poem though helps lots. thanks
| Posted on 2005-04-18 00:00:00 | by ladydeathstrike | [ Reply to This ]
  LMAO. I luv truthfull poems. Thier cool. One thing about this poem is it's a little on the simple side. it does not create a world or a vision. It doesn't pull you into this world of emotion and make you never want to leave. It' s kind of stating a fact of life. Guys aren't worth [censored]. I'm pretty sure you a little deeper than this. A good write nonetheless.

| Posted on 2005-04-18 00:00:00 | by Chi-Town Rose | [ Reply to This ]
  Good write. A bit on the cynical side, but it got the point across. Just a few things: I don't know if you were trying to write a peom or if this was the product of years of bitter experiences, but there was no imagery at all; no metaphors or similies or anything that could create a visual image for the reader as he reads your poem so that he can emotionally react to what you have written. Yours is a poem that only one who has been burned before can relate to. There are also minor spelling and grammar errors in there but that usually doesn't matter in poetry, especially if you put it there. You have great rhythm; I had no trouble at all catching onto the rhythm. It was just lacking imagery.
| Posted on 2005-04-18 00:00:00 | by NightCrawler | [ Reply to This ]
  good write, though I did ot think it orginal for the fact that these are common words, "all men lie", "men are dogs", etc. Perhaps by stepping out of the norm you can recreate this piece from the same perscpective just in a different light, you know? Try and and see how it evolves:)
| Posted on 2005-04-18 00:00:00 | by lolavie | [ Reply to This ]

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