Knight in Shining Stars

Author: painofthanatos Elite Ratio:    4.32 - 684 /571 /86 Words: 86

Class/Type: Poetry /Longing Total Views: 774 Average Vote:    No vote yet. Bytes: 575

Description:

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Knight in Shining Stars

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I look out of my open window And watch the sun shrink away The reds, oranges, and yellows painfully vivid in the sky I don't blame her... I'm scared, too. There's nothing locking me inside, ...I know what would happen if I left But I'm contemplating it anyway My bags are packed and I'm ready to go I'm just waiting for your deep voice To tell me that it's okay And that I'll be safe. I'm waiting for you You are my knight in shining stars

Submitted on 2005-04-18 11:52:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments

At first glance I did not see much, but once i read it over gain I saw and felt so much emotions in your work. The image of the sunset was so burned in my eye, that was my favorite part. It reminds me of my works with its tragic love stories, but I never saw it from the womans point of view, good write.

| Posted on 2005-04-19 00:00:00 | by Snowball_24 | [ Reply to This ]

I like this a lot. Im not exactly sure what its about though. My favorite part is: "I look out of my open window And watch the sun shrink away The reds, oranges, and yellows painfully vivid in the sky I don't blame her... I'm scared, too." That made me cry. Its really good. *nikkki

| Posted on 2005-04-18 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]

Not sure I know what this is about..excatly but I do like : <<The reds, oranges, and yellows painfully vivid in the sky>> this line a lot. I don't blame her... I'm scared, too. but whats this about? Good work :-) as always

| Posted on 2005-04-18 00:00:00 | by DreamInColour07 | [ Reply to This ]

simplistic, yet it evokes a certain feeling. [[There's nothing locking me inside, ...I know what would happen if I left But I'm contemplating it anyway]] you say that there's nothing keeping you from leaving, but then you say "but i'm contemplating it anyway" as if there was. i was just wondering about the word "but" being placed there You are my knight in shining stars teehee, i love a good play on words :) nice write, of course sophie

| Posted on 2005-04-18 00:00:00 | by sudie | [ Reply to This ]

You have pieced words together creatively like these "And watch the sun shrink away The reds, oranges, and yellows painfully vivid in the sky". These could be speaking of death as a way out but why pack a bag so I said no the deep voice you are waiting for is your love "You are my knight in shining stars" and that makes me smile cause I hate bad endings and this poem leaves a window of opportunity for the lady to escape unharmed and thats great. A good poem and keep writing to vent as all true poets do, kudo's and smile `always poetry, cheryl.

| Posted on 2005-04-18 00:00:00 | by ladyngold | [ Reply to This ]

hmmmmmmmmm, i get an image here of juliette-ish suicide. i don't think this is about suicide though, i think it's about losing fear and giving yourself up to peace, to contentment. i think you need to either add punctuation or get rid of it all. whatever you choose to do, i enjoyed reading your words :)

| Posted on 2005-04-18 00:00:00 | by treybur | [ Reply to This ]

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