Description: Friends can be sluts and druggies and such, so this is deticated to my slut friends that i can't even begin to cover how much shit we've been through.
My Personal Fall -------------------------------------------
Suffacating. No breath.
In my near future I see death.
Some say I dream too big
Like I have my own hole to dig.
My life just keeps withering away.
Everyone looks at me in dismay.
What do you do when your friends just die?
Not by death but by the lies.
Peace can no longer be kept.
Walked up to a bridge so u lept.
Falling faster and thinking twice
A net to catch u would be nice.
I got hit hard and fell even harder.
With this small town shit I should be an amature.
You can bet when i got up i was pissed.
My words bite you like a snake so listen to the hiss.
You are a fiddle and your being played
Can't believe you thought u were getting laid.
Selfish and cruel in your heart.
This is the place where we part.
My approval I can not give.
My own life i have to live.
Do what you want and when you want to,
But I'll be the one turning you blue.
some didtinctive adjectives. Could use a little work in certain aspects and portions, it seems to slide from one thing into the other with no real indication. not bad, but not your best, the picture conveyed is slightly lucid, but a beautiful ugliness though the eyes of the blind, none the less(that's a compliment)
Damn gurl! Whoa this is a hella good poem and it's going on my favorites. Yeah friends can be all that. In fact not to long ago I found out that someone who was a friend, has actually been a selling her body for 4 years! And she just turned 18! There was nothing that I could say about that, so I didn't. You never know someone until they say something like that. Well now that I have talked your ear off about something completely different then what I was going to say, let me tell you what I like. "What do you do when your friends just die? Not by death but by the lies. Peace can no longer be kept." These lines remind me of a friend of mine that I no longer talk to because she choseto believe the lies her boyfriend said over what I said. I argued with both of them and then said [censored] it and left them together. We haven't spoken since, but I heard they broke up shortly after that. And... "My words bite you like a snake so listen to the hiss. You are a fiddle and your being played Can't believe you thought u were getting laid." These lines speak for themselves so I'm not going to. Good write, Diana was right about you. -Charlenee
I like this. I get the idea of being through a lot with someone, but realizing when it's time to let them go. it isn't always easy when you have a friend who has put themselves in a rotten place and you're being dragged down too, and no matter how much crap you go through, there is a let-down time.
On the topic of the poem, because the rhyming went so well with the lengh and structure, this piece flowed very nicely.