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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: broken: improveddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Krinchinian
    ASL Info:    20/f/pa
    Elite Ratio:    3.12 - 164/231/84
    Words: 285
    Class/Type: Poetry/I am dead inside
    Total Views: 1304
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1573



    Description:
       just wrote this as a continuation of the first stanze which i had posted earlier and people said i should try and make it longer so here it is


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsbroken: improveddots
    -------------------------------------------


    My heart is broke, but I have a staple gun
    When I hear your name, I turn around and run
    This fearful place I live in has no ray of sun
    This horrid prize of me you've finally won

    My heart is broke but I have some tape
    Your definition of love involves first degree rape
    At night I dream of flying away w/ my magic cape
    Just to once again snap back and wake

    My heart is broke but I have some glue
    When with you I feel so blue
    With my own blood I finally drew
    A place where i am finally rid of you

    My heart is broke but I have some sticky tack
    When i look at you I see everything you lack
    You've made my heart the blackest black
    Only to have it turn right back

    My heart is broke but I have some safety pins
    You tore it all up and shoved it in some bins
    When finished you gave me an evil grin
    But I know the bad guy never wins

    My heart is broke but I have a hammer and nails
    When I fall I hang on to the safety rails
    Your always tell me tall tales
    My want of escape never ever fails

    My heart is broke but I have some wire
    When with you I'd rather burn in fire
    I know you for what you are, a liar
    Finaly escaped in my ragged atire

    My heart WAS broke but it's finally fixed
    My feelings for you are no longer mixed
    This poem is my final remix
    Of how I beat you to death w/ a bunch of stix




    Submitted on 2005-04-18 16:37:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i liked this poem a lot it makes me see back to what some of my ex's did and how i fixed my broken heart myself.....i specially liked

    "My heart is broke but I have some glue
    When with you I feel so blue
    With my own blood I finally drew
    A place where i am finally rid of you

    My heart is broke but I have some sticky tack
    When i look at you I see everything you lack
    You've made my heart the blackest black
    Only to have it turn right back"

    makes me feel sort of empowered

    i love it add to favourites!!!!

    :MartiniMadeLvr:
    | Posted on 2006-12-16 00:00:00 | by MartiniMadeLvr | [ Reply to This ]
      OMG...one of the best f.ing poems eva! Holy sh.it this one is good! I really liked the ryhming scheme of it and the ending was hilarious...my fav line would have to be

    My heart is broke but I have some wire
    When with you I'd rather burn in fire
    I know you for what you are, a liar
    Finaly escaped in my ragged atire

    And then the ending...This poem is going on my fav list...sorry for not commenting before much...i mean its not just you, i mean i haven't commented for a long time...lol
    Jessy~
    | Posted on 2005-04-24 00:00:00 | by Jan | [ Reply to This ]
      Fantastic! I love the little girl/sing-song/lyric repetition, not many poems could get away with it but it works for me here.
    Nicely put, and a good ending after all the heartbreak, we always can repair the damage, even if the memory remains...
    Very nicely written
    Be Happy
    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-04-21 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      I really enjoyed this piece. It is very creative. You have a very open mind to write something like this. The rhyming and the scheme of it is excellent. I like the meaning behind it as well. After all that you finally fixed your borken heart. Right on. Fav. list.
    | Posted on 2005-04-18 00:00:00 | by ReiLuna | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this not only because I can relate I've been there twice in fact once when I was fifteen and again a week before this last christmas and at eighteen it's even worse the shame is so much worse. but your right he won't win, and time will heal the phisical wounds but the emotional ones are much harder to over come but stay strong.

    Lost and alone.
    | Posted on 2005-04-18 00:00:00 | by lost and alone | [ Reply to This ]
      cute. i like it... i really do.. but i only have one thing to say.... : TOO MUCH!! normally ppl (including myself) when i go to a poem.. and i see how large it is!! normally i dont read it.. i read this one cuz not only the title attractedme but also the first sentence.. but not everyone is like that.. so just remember... sum it up or idonno.. but dont make it so large.. i know the one before they told you to makeit longer but in my opinion its too long.. i didnt see the smaller version so i can't judge.. but i donno.. it seems too much in my opinionç! sorry! dont take it personally!
    *anita*
    | Posted on 2005-04-18 00:00:00 | by anita_89 | [ Reply to This ]


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