Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Moonlightdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Victoria
    ASL Info:    29/F/US
    Elite Ratio:    4.74 - 72/74/25
    Words: 212
    Class/Type: Poetry/Friendship
    Total Views: 1026
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 925



    Description:
        This piece is about an important message I had recieved after a pretty long magical dry spell. I had drifted a bit off the path and found myself stuck and kind of lonely and plain all-out bummed. But thankfully, I finally was able to clean things up and find my way back to the path. Soon after I did so, I gained a new friend who is most definately like minded when it comes to the Craft. We had hung out for a while and got to know eachother well, when she asked me if I would guide her along the path she had chosen and teach her what I could of the Old Ways. I told her that I would have to think about it for a while. Then, one night after I had told her, I recieved this message from the Goddess herself.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMoonlightdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The moonlight in the night sky
    is so peaceful, as I walk by
    the dark, jagged forms of trees.
    I hear a whisper on the breeze.
    "Come back, come back to me.
    Join me in this dance once more.
    Close your eyes and open the door
    to your heart.
    Never again shall we part.
    Let my light shine into your soul.
    Let it fill like water into a bowl.
    Feel my love and remember me.
    Remember how things used to be.
    Come, my child, on this night.
    Let your spirit take flight
    for the journey you must take
    is the one you must make.
    To you I send a gift
    of someone to teach and a soul to sift.
    Teach this person the old ways
    for many a number of days.
    And when the time is right,
    the sacred dance shall be bright."




    Submitted on 2005-04-18 17:47:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      another good read...naturally rhyming, feel the flow...and the oneness with nature---

    really good rhythm...just one spot goes off a little the "door to your heart" line---

    but overall..i like the honesty and straightforwardness of your work...without it being sing-songy and overly simplistic...there is depth to the feeling it evokes..

    jacob
    | Posted on 2012-06-25 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      Awww this poem is very sweet babe, I like the wordplay, the rhyming, and structure of the poem, it makes me think about my dear friend (god rest his soul) and how nice it was to be around him and how much we ment to each other(This starting to sound a little gay isn't it). But anyways before I get all mushy I would like to say that you have real talent and that this poem has a original feel to it and you should keep at it. 1 love
    | Posted on 2005-04-18 00:00:00 | by C. Flava | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    55210

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry