Description: This is a fictional suicide poem inspired by a friend of the family who killed himself by driving into a moving truck.
Ride -------------------------------------------
Stereo's playing substitutes
Songs providing parachutes
We're moving and I feel like crossing the line
Drivers moving passengers
Radio waves are messengers
I'm driving and I feel like crossing the line
I keep my hands on the wheel
I won't explain how I feel
You're crying and I feel like crossing the line
I am going nowhere
At least I'm going there with you
You made me pull over
Spend one more night with you
I really had no answers
When you asked me why
You cried and you kissed me
And I knew it was goodbye
Headlights ending reveries
Traffic numbing memories
I'm silent but I feel like crossing the line
So pretty sleeping by my side
My home's beneath me and you're my bride
Forgive me but I need to cross the line
Push the metal, change the lane
Nothing of us shall remain
I'm driving us too fast and I'm crossing the line
I think some people are missing out on the fact that these are song lyrics . . . from the comments . . . it's obvious they are, and I'd have to say so far I liked this the best. I'd be very interested in hearing what the music sounds like, so send me a copy! I have friends in the music industry, and I don't hang with them as much as I used to but my brother still does their sound system and goes on tour with them. The other friend is a very talented musician from Philidelphia, here in the states. These guys are damned good, and the LoveHammers just signed their first album/cd deal with a major label (though they have self-produced six so far, I believe). It's a tough gig, but I have a strong appreciation for music and a good ear, so I guess what I'm saying is pass em on to me, let me take a listen, and I'll write more after. Thanks, bro!
I am going nowhere At least I'm going there with you You made me pull over Spend one more night with you I really had no answers When you asked me why You cried and you kissed me And I knew it was goodbye
That's rad bro. That was an AWESOME stanza. I liked the whole thing. The first two stanza's were kinda iffy though, everything else was totally kick ass.
The poem is ok it could be better but you got the point across about whats going on it seems like yor fed up in this one and your one step awya from doing something unthinkable. But its kinda sad that this is actually true about someone switching into the other lane and causing hisself to be hit by a truck.My heart goes out to you and your family and may that rest in peice. 1 love
Can't really critique this. VERY good. The stanza of "I fell like crossing the line" is great. I love the different beginnings of them. Not that repeativeness is a bad thing, but it just fits so well with this poem.
Submission Name: Ride
