lost in a world of black and gray
broken from above
all have left this deathly home
to find another place
hell undone to submerge their souls
into the pits below
i try to keep myself awake
from the sleep everlasting
fires burn the eyes to see
the truth has fled away
the angels fall to the grasp
the skies scream in pain
acid burns the sactuary
no where is there to hide
the end has claimed me
and i despair willingly
Very dark and descriptive. My kind of poem. I've been looking for that sleep everlasting, but I keep waking up. Oh well, guess I'll just keep writing about it. Maybe you should call it "sleep everlasting"?
I think this is a great poem...you have a lot of talent...writing another poem like this would be a good idea...i know i'd love to read it...definately go with a better title...like...torured soul...or something...
I think that " fallen from life" or "pit of despair" would be a cool heading for this wonderful piece. I though you did a good job and the lines I liked the most would have to be the skies scream in pain- what a thought provoking line, very intresting. and also the end has claimed me and i despair willingly you have a great way of putting things together. I enjoyed this very much. Forgiven
Submission Name: discarded
