Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Liars and Thievesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BenCollier
    Elite Ratio:    3.72 - 425/386/88
    Words: 133
    Class/Type: Prose/Angry
    Total Views: 611
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 894



    Description:
       A challanged answered. My friend Graem (wewak11) thought I would not be able to write a hate poem in my recent matrimonial state. OH WELL! i at least gave it a shot. He was probally right.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLiars and Thievesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    One who lies
    Another, which steals
    Malcontents both
    The epitome of human waste

    A liar has no shame, a thief keeps no friend
    As a parasite of life they flourish
    Lonely is he who knows no remorse
    To exist as an amoebic cancerous cell
    Waiting to latch unto a fertile host

    Denial of faith, denouncer of kindness
    A predator, a scavenger, a dumpster diver
    Honest work is oxymoronic to them
    Protection of innocence is forgone

    The kindest reaction to this lot
    Is simply to feign their existence
    However, when they strike is then
    Camouflaged emotions and sympathies

    For myself I will have none of that
    Once burned, forever remembered
    To see them waste in their cesspool
    Of despise and self pity is payment enough





    Submitted on 2005-04-19 13:02:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Dave, this nearly won the challenge, I liked:"an amoebic cancerous cell" that's got a lot of venom in it, but, although I really liked the poem itself, Great! from the challenge point of view, you should have burned 'em all in the fires of Hell YOURSELF in the last verse not just be content to see 'em perish to get me. I'll try it now and you decide.
    Be Happy Now
    Hi, Cleo
    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-04-19 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      wow... i really like it... it surprised me... good job.. my favorite part was 'A liar has no shame, a thief keeps no friend'


    great job
    xoxo

    *anita*
    | Posted on 2005-04-19 00:00:00 | by anita_89 | [ Reply to This ]
      I am not sure if this would be a hate poem. More of a ...ummmmm... like hypro said...venting poem. When you hate someone you gotta be like...A liar and a thief, bust in my house and you will not leave. I have 10 dogs that will put a hole in your sleave. I dare you to look me in my eyes and decieve...

    Yeah yeah...that's a good hate type thingy going on there. Yup shoooorrreee is. yessiree bob! LOL

    But, the poem itself, putting aside the hate thing...great. I'd stick to the power of love and vent off that if it were me. You can hate more then once...Love...that's the most powerful emotion of all and it doesn't come around quite as often.

    Li Li
    | Posted on 2005-04-19 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, you got the lack of good flow that I usually read in hate poems down. I didnt really feel a lot of hate in this...seemed more like venting...like you were in the cesspool and are writing this from the top of the rock that over looks the pool saying, "Na-na-na-na-naaaa-naaaaaaaaa, you cant get meeeeee"...maybe if you throw in something about wanting to die or wanting to kill...??? I dunno, its hard to write about hate when you are in a state of love, huh? Graeme is always throwing out those challenges...hee-hee. Have a good one and keep writin'
    DAVE
    | Posted on 2005-04-19 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    55330

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry