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    dots Submission Name: A Shaman (partly revised)dots

    Author: melancholymaid
    ASL Info:    24/female/Tennessee
    Elite Ratio:    3.64 - 112/136/34
    Words: 130
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 930
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 792

       I don't know. I was logged onto elite and I was inspired. It's not my greatest piece of work, but I plan on fixing it tonight. I will edit tomorrow, so leave advice if you wish. I want something more descriptive. That's what I am shooting for. I also want to explain who the "shaman" might be. A man with fire in his eyes. A man with ice in his eyes. A man who could turn you upside down. He's ethereal. Yet I feel worthy of him..... I am excited. I can't wait to write more.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Shaman (partly revised)dots

    A shaman looks into my face.
    His sapphire eyes are placid, yet fragmented.

    I cannot fathom what his unlimited mind holds for me.
    I want to get inside of him,
    Break him,
    Be broken by him...

    He has the power to lift me up from the damp shadows into the light,
    Past the light.

    His consciousness will diffuse throughout my body,
    Leaving me in flames that will never burn out.

    He will enter into me as if waiting all along to touch me.
    His enchanted hands shall calm me,
    His body send me into a furious tremor.

    Our bodies will rock into decadence.
    And the night's magick will surround us.

    The Shaman will leave me in ecstacy.

    Submitted on 2005-04-20 13:30:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Advice first ...this piece reads uncomplete like a prelude...and the thoughts seemed to be put together like the outlines I have done for difficult pieces of mine. It is all there waiting to be nurtured to blossom into the exact story you want us to hear and I am looking forward to reading and reviewing this interesting sounding beginning of poetry.
    `always poetry, Cheryl.
    | Posted on 2005-04-20 00:00:00 | by ladyngold | [ Reply to This ]

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