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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: the doordots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: wishicouldwrite
    ASL Info:    18/M/N.O.
    Elite Ratio:    2.56 - 8/14/6
    Words: 598
    Class/Type: Story/Misc
    Total Views: 932
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 3126



    Description:
       This is a short story i had to write for english class.
    Tell me what you think.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe doordots
    -------------------------------------------


    The door swings open. Everything from here on must be earned. It is man against fire, and fire takes no prisoners.
    The flames jump past Alan’s head as he quickly starts to douse the flames. As he slowly moves through the building, he thinks about his family and all the things in life that he loves. He sees all of his buddies around him, backing him up, doing their best to bring everyone home safely. He works his way through the front room with the fire dancing majestically in every corner.
    He finds the door to the next room and opens it. With a roar, the flames shoot out of the door like a runaway train running loose in the night.
    “Watch it, Alan”, shouts Dustin, “We can’t have anyone getting hurt in this place.”
    “Noted”, he shouts back trying his best to take his friend’s advice. “I didn’t plan on dying here tonight.”
    The flames die down around the door and Alan and Dustin move through the passage spraying water everywhere that they saw flames. “Chief said there’s somebody trapped in here, so watch where you’re spraying that water!” Dustin yells above all of the noise. “We don’t want anyone else to die here either.”
    “Noted,” Alan again shouts back. The flames disappear in the room, but the smoke lingers. “I didn’t see anyone. Must be in the next room.”
    The next door opens and the two firefighters get a big surprise when they see a blackened head drop to the floor.

    “I guess this is the one Chief was talking about,” said Alan.
    “It would seem that way wouldn’t it, smart guy,” Dustin comes back. “Firefighter Costa to Command, we have found the girl and are proceeding to bring her out,” he says into the radio.
    “10-4,” a voice says on the other side.
    “We have to get out of here. This girl isn’t safe, not to mention that she’s unconscious,” Dustin says to his partner.
    “Ladies first. You know how I like that good old-time chivalry,” Alan says trying to lighten the mood.
    “Now is not the time.”
    “Just trying to be positive. Let’s get out of here.”
    The two men work their way back out of the house, following the hose line they had brought in with them. As they emerge from the smoking mass of wood, the paramedics immediately grab the girl from Dustin and bring her to a stretcher awaiting her arrival.
    “Well that’s my good deed for the day,” Alan says in relief that he is out of the house.
    The fire is put out in due time as the two heroes of the day sit and rest while drinking some well-deserved water. Alan wonders how he chose to be a firefighter. He goes back several years to when he was just a kid.
    He never had to think about what he wanted to be when he grew up, then came his first day of school. His parents told him, “Now you get to got to school and learn so that one day you can get a good job like mommy and daddy.”
    He walks up to the front door of the school, and his dad swung open the door. “Son, everything from here on must be earned. It is man against life, and life takes no prisoners.”




    Submitted on 2005-04-21 18:19:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Nice piece. It was graphic, yet didn't give too much detail as to overshadow what's actually happening in the story. I like it. Write more. :)

    Oh, and thanks for the comment on my story. :D
    | Posted on 2005-04-28 00:00:00 | by Orin | [ Reply to This ]
      Very nicely done Jason. If you already turned this in, I hope you got an "A", because that is what you deserved. And I'm totally serious. This was awesome. You should write more stories, you are really good at it. Loved talking to you tonight. Tell PJ to call me, I REALLY want to talk to him! And tell him he's hott! Lol. Have fun at prom, good luck at Baskin Robin's. Ttyl!
    | Posted on 2005-04-23 00:00:00 | by AngelOutlaw | [ Reply to This ]
      ha. i can tell alan is gonna be like my favorite character. always fun but serious at the same time. well im never serious, unless im writing but u had the picture of fire soooo perfectly pictured. sooo cool. i am one that loves fire. lol. although i am hopin the girl is ok. anyways... u should be very proud of ur story and should probably change ur login name cause its very misleading. lol ~cat~
    | Posted on 2005-04-21 00:00:00 | by dancer06 | [ Reply to This ]
      tillman, tillman, tillman. u scare me.

    He works his way through the front room with the fire dancing majestically in every corner.

    what the hell. where did this [censored] come from? i loved it. you made fire seen pretty, like me. lol. good work buck, Laffey'll love it.
    | Posted on 2005-04-21 00:00:00 | by Aknahlij_d 1 | [ Reply to This ]
      this is a good short story, you have some very nice decriptions in here...

    Ladies first. You know how I like that good old-time chivalry,” Alan says trying to lighten the mood.


    this is good...very nice character devlopment here...shows a lot about him..and how he works...yeah...

    this is really good for high school work..and i say that because there so few good teen story writers...so when i come across one it's a bit of a shock..yeah

    flipside
    milo
    | Posted on 2005-04-21 00:00:00 | by milo stills | [ Reply to This ]


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