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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: deathlessdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: k kin
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 56/51/12
    Words: 15
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Death
    Total Views: 1215
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 94



    Description:
       What is life?... Yearning to die?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsdeathlessdots
    -------------------------------------------


    To be alive
    to be but deathless
    With sober breath
    a cry to be breathless.




    Submitted on 2005-04-22 03:41:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I think LIFE is more about yearning to live than yearning to die. And in so doing, we forget to actually "live" the moment we're in. This is a good write.. as Emeya said, it makes us think.. so that's good.
    Nice work!
    ~Sandra
    | Posted on 2005-05-02 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      short and to the point...but it could be a little longer add more detail...like spill your heart tell us what you truly mean this leaves us in limbo wondering the true meaning
    <3 Krin
    | Posted on 2005-04-22 00:00:00 | by Krinchinian | [ Reply to This ]
      THe words are great in this poem...All around good good..BUt i would work on some of it, like maybe making it longer..well anyways its a great poem and you should still keep writing..don't let some1's words bring you down...And could you do me a favore and check out some of my poems on my page..Thanks in advance! :)

    Love from within
    | Posted on 2005-04-22 00:00:00 | by Thinkingofyou | [ Reply to This ]
      it could have been a haiku if the sentences did not rhyme consecutively but it is still just as catching as a haiku could have been.
    still i'd say do another one and decide what you are trying to go for
    | Posted on 2005-04-22 00:00:00 | by Angel McCalmon | [ Reply to This ]
      The words go good together but u should have made it longer so that it would be more interesting. I kinda got bored with it cause it was short but the words go good together and for it being as short as it is u did get a point across. Just try to make it longer next time. well goodluck byez!
    | Posted on 2005-04-22 00:00:00 | by Evie | [ Reply to This ]


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