I think LIFE is more about yearning to live than yearning to die. And in so doing, we forget to actually "live" the moment we're in. This is a good write.. as Emeya said, it makes us think.. so that's good. Nice work! ~Sandra
THe words are great in this poem...All around good good..BUt i would work on some of it, like maybe making it longer..well anyways its a great poem and you should still keep writing..don't let some1's words bring you down...And could you do me a favore and check out some of my poems on my page..Thanks in advance! :)
it could have been a haiku if the sentences did not rhyme consecutively but it is still just as catching as a haiku could have been. still i'd say do another one and decide what you are trying to go for
The words go good together but u should have made it longer so that it would be more interesting. I kinda got bored with it cause it was short but the words go good together and for it being as short as it is u did get a point across. Just try to make it longer next time. well goodluck byez!