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    dots Submission Name: Medieval Agedots

    Author: Areinaka
    ASL Info:    20, F, Oregon, USA
    Elite Ratio:    3.91 - 130/114/29
    Words: 57
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 768
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 372

       I love this poem. It went in a totally different direction from where I thought it was going to go.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMedieval Agedots

    Dragons fly over, breathing dark flame.
    Beggars hold out their hands in shame.
    Damsels in distress scream in terror.
    The prince wonders if his love could be any fairer.
    Castles abound, and knights are roaming.
    In the pubs, the mead and ales are foaming.
    Swords clash, battle cries rage,
    As a war begins in the medieval age.

    Submitted on 2005-04-22 10:45:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i love how thoughts can take u somewhere else. i love kings and their castles. i love really short ppl (willow). and i like how the other messages to this piece really have mead it better. exept for the jester be s
    | Posted on 2006-10-13 00:00:00 | by splifford | [ Reply to This ]
      that was goodnesss it put in the medevilage
    i think ited b awsome if u add more cuz i was like more it was so good but i got all into it and then it ended

    Darkness of the Grim Draco
    | Posted on 2005-05-08 00:00:00 | by darkness | [ Reply to This ]
      i love poems that take me somewhere else! you did just that with this piece. the images that you painted here were very realistic.
    the only critique would be with this line:

    "The wicked stepmother looks in her talking mirror"

    it is good, but takes a bit away from the medival age all of the other lines imply. and makes it more of a fairey tale piece...now if you want to stick with the feel of a classic aged piece what about substituting that line for something like:

    "Kings are amused with their court jester"

    or something along those lines. but just a suggestion. i think this is a very nice piece!
    | Posted on 2005-05-03 00:00:00 | by stolie77 | [ Reply to This ]
      this is superbly written in all aspects besides the line about the wicked stepmother- it does not fit, and for me, just completely snapped me out of the poem and the world you were trying to create. also, 'knights' has an extra letter in it, an 'h' too many, I believe... other that those two issues, you have a pretty fu<king cool piece here. thanks for the read. *md*
    | Posted on 2005-04-24 00:00:00 | by MerryDeath | [ Reply to This ]
      Sweet! I like it. The rhyming does it good. Although the line "The wicked stepmother looks in her talking mirror." is a bit long, out of rhythm. That's my only suggestion, maybe you could do something with that. Otherwise, it's great stuff; it instantly creates vivid pictures in the mind. Sooo much substance in so few lines, that's talent.
    | Posted on 2005-04-22 00:00:00 | by rounin | [ Reply to This ]
      A quick short poem with some decent imagery :) I like word usage, however, I think that you could expand on this a bit and draw us more into the medieval age :)

    keep writing

    | Posted on 2005-04-22 00:00:00 | by Stwcjj | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, what a neat poem. It just brings vivid visions with each line. Nicely done. I like being able to go someplace else when reading and this one did that to me. Thanks for posting it. Have a good day.
    | Posted on 2005-04-22 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]

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