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    dots Submission Name: These Webs #1(edited)dots

    Author: darkened_soul
    Elite Ratio:    3.38 - 812/868/171
    Words: 85
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 1374
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 474

       I had previous posted a three-part series of poetry called these webs, and I decided to re-edit them. This is the first piece.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThese Webs #1(edited)dots

    I get entangled and I get lost
    I get thrown and I get tossed
    I get beat, and I get used
    I get hurt, and I get abused.

    But I leave you not, my dear
    But things won't change, I fear
    I'll end up hurt, maybe even dead
    If I upset you a bullet in my head.

    I am in anger, and so much pain
    Like the thunder and the rain
    So entangled in webs I shall stay
    Until you finally go away.

    Submitted on 2005-04-22 14:14:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      first part was genious i think,if it would have continued in the same track.one of the best i would have probably read
    one mans opinion

    wes all toyysruss
    | Posted on 2005-04-22 00:00:00 | by toyysruss | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the repetition for effect in the first stanza, but it's a bit TOO much to me. Otherwise, a nice piece for its length. Imagery is intense. Keep it up!

    | Posted on 2005-04-22 00:00:00 | by Deadly Sauce | [ Reply to This ]

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