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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Taken away by Temptationdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: EL
    Elite Ratio:    3.39 - 272/189/52
    Words: 122
    Class/Type: Prose/Serious
    Total Views: 870
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 744



    Description:
       it's a poem about a drug. It's about someone I know. Please give any advice because I just wrote it off the top of my head.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTaken away by Temptationdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Here you come once again,
    You open the door,
    Turn down the light to set the the mood,
    You here their voices as they encourage you,
    Go ahead and take that chance,
    Take me now for I am tempting to alone,
    You want me,
    I know you do,
    You pick me up,
    Bring me closer as you hold on tight,
    Yes, Yes, that's right give in just this once,
    Temptation a beautiful thing,
    Oops now look what you have done,
    Oops now look there it all goes,
    Your wife, your kids, family, and friends all gone in a blink of an eye,
    Why, you ask,
    Because you couldn't say no,
    You couldn't resist,
    Now I alone have consumed your life.




    Submitted on 2005-04-23 15:29:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      It was well done, but i'm not sure i'd call it a poem either, a prose dose seem to be more acurate. For someone writing from another perspective on addiction(assuming) you presented a well done piece, be well
    | Posted on 2005-05-21 00:00:00 | by dismentled | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought this was good I agree with the other coment I think it would be amzing if it was revised. I felt the emotion you wrote and that is the main thing. I'm sorry to hear that this happened to your fiend and I hope they got over it.
    | Posted on 2005-04-23 00:00:00 | by Broken Dreams | [ Reply to This ]
      Huh. A little bit more of a prose sort of piece...at least to me. It didn't quite flow like a poem.

    I did like the overall feel of it, though.

    I hope they got over their addiction.

    6.5/10.
    | Posted on 2005-04-23 00:00:00 | by Angela Dawne | [ Reply to This ]


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