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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: EmpujÚdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Jester_Gesture
    ASL Info:    23/f
    Elite Ratio:    3.41 - 365/459/201
    Words: 168
    Class/Type: Poetry/Sorry
    Total Views: 784
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1408



    Description:
       EmpujÚ means "I pushed" in Spanish. I did something stupid tonight, rain does funny things to me.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEmpujÚdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I pushed.
    Standing in the dark
    the sky is crying with
    joyful tears
    for her.
    And in the shadows
    you were close to me
    but only for
    a moment.
    You said one word.
    One word.
    Small.
    I felt my hands against
    your chest
    and my feet braced on
    wet concrete
    as I pushed you.
    I saw you move
    from here to there
    and I fell back
    next to her.
    Sensitive, she called me,
    still smiling.
    And just before I go
    you pull me back into
    your arms
    as though pleading for
    forgiveness.
    Standing in the dark
    the sky is crying with
    ashamed tears
    for me.




    Submitted on 2005-04-24 02:15:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I love the mystery in this one, also the way you highlight certain words and use the image as well. It sets it apart from a lot of the other poems on here, in general your stuff just seems a bit different to the run-of-the-mill poems about cutting and anger you get on here.

    Enjoyed reading this, I can tell it's about conflict, but not sure I understand it fully. It made me think anyway, and set scenes in my mind.

    One thing I'd like to ask...how did you get the image to display properly on this poem? where did you store the image? i've tried to do this myself, but without success, it always shows a broken link sign whenever i try. if you could give me some advice on displaying pictures i would certainly appreciate it.

    well done, and merry christmas.

    Jay
    | Posted on 2005-12-22 00:00:00 | by Senna27NZ | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey kiddo. I did like this, but I couldn't really tell ya why. You're not mad at me about prom, are you? Hope not. I just want to say, It wasn't my fault! lol, j/k. Love ya.
    | Posted on 2005-04-28 00:00:00 | by AngelOutlaw | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this a lot, -was drawn to it by the title while surfing through the recents. I was curious as to why you put all the verbs into boldface type? I think it reads just as well without it. and sometimes when such formatting makes the reader stop momentarily and wonder why it was done-and that interrupts the flow.

    I liked the short lines and form of the single strophe.I also liked how you began with
    "the sky is crying with
    joyful tears
    for her". and then came back to that at the end, but this time the tears were of shame for you

    I gather this is some sort of a conflict bewteen mutual friends, and that you responded too quickly to something said, and now regret your knee-jerk reaction. But i also like that it;s rather open to interpretation, and therefore a little bit mysterious. I think it's that mystery that compells us to read on.

    Well Done
    Silver
    | Posted on 2005-04-27 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't know why I like this so much, I'm sure I don't really understand the meaning behind it, yet it's very appealing. I liked the bold words, it was emphasis at the right times, I must figure our how to do that.
    My only thought is that this is something to do with beating addiction, but I'm very dumb.
    I liked it whatever it means, its style got to me.
    Be Happy
    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-04-26 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]


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    55920

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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