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Long- awaited Farewell


Author: Toxic Rose
Elite Ratio:    5.82 - 159 /220 /97
Words: 183
Class/Type: Poetry /Longing
Total Views: 922
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1261



Description:


This poem is about my parents. I love them and miss them so much- They did so much for me, even though I only knew them for the first six years of my life.

I hope you are both proud of me, mom and dad.


Long- awaited Farewell



Bleak sunlight, promising dusk
Envelopes me in a hollow of sorrow
A shrieking silence, a quiet roar
Fills my ears as I dream of tomorrow

Wistful regret, an unexplainable premonition
Captures my heart, ties me down
But with reckless abandon, ferocious intensity
I break free death's hold,dizziness swirling round

Reassuring discomfort, a choppy lullaby
Echoes by as I kneel at your grave
Leaping sightlessly, stomping carelessly
On the edges of my thoughts as tears I brave

Exclusive past, eluding future
I was born into the web of time
In a sanctuary of panic, of innocent evil
I realize that broken dreams seldom rhyme.

Enshadowed by light, contained by air
In desperation and longing I cry out to you
A crooked trail, a misleading map
Has fallen into my hands, as if by cue

I am drowned innocence, early maturity
I've endured some of the loss to be had
And with immortal longing and quenched desire
I bid thee farewell- I love you, Mom and Dad.

Dedicated to my biological parents

-April 7, 1996






Submitted on 2005-04-24 17:28:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  i just got to reading this one! i have to say i agree with you that this is your best poem so far. it's hard to explain what such an immense loss feels like, and you did a really great job of it. there really are certain things that people like to keep hidden, and it takes a lot to bring out those feelings and deal with them head-on. hmmmm. i feel like i should post a suggestion. argh. i dont want to. ok, it might flow better if the rhyming pattern was the same throughout. but personally, i like it the way it is, because the kind of thing you're writing about definitely isnt perfect! i really like this one. nice work!
| Posted on 2005-05-04 00:00:00 | by sunnyrain | [ Reply to This ]
  Hello!

I'm very sorry for your loss...truly, I hurt for you...I sincerely do. I know that people who have never experienced a situation of like what you speak can never know the hurt and pain of not having parents to comfort, shelter, care for, and love them...hearing poems like this drive spears through my sides.

Screw feedback...if anyone tries to give you any kind of "friendly advice" on how to make this poem better, well....in my opinion, it's heartless of them. This is a very tense, sensitive subject and surely these are your real feelings that I see infront of me on the screen. I can say no more, except I'm here to be your confidant and offer you a shoulder to cry on if you may need someone to chat with. My screen name's on my page...yahoo or AOL...feel free to contact me if you wish.

I wish you the best, and again, sorry for your losses.

---Jaclyn
| Posted on 2005-04-24 00:00:00 | by wanderingpoet16 | [ Reply to This ]


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