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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Od e to the Crocusdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: VanillaLeaves
    Elite Ratio:    4.1 - 101/110/23
    Words: 231
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nature
    Total Views: 917
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1540



    Description:
       I don't know what I was thinking, but sometimes crocuses just make more sense.


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    dotsOd e to the Crocusdots
    -------------------------------------------


    When the last drops of wine
    have been soaked up
    by the thin slices of wafer
    and the organ had quieted,
    ending its attempts to resurrect
    Christ from between
    the dusty keys and pedals,
    I slip out the door,
    which still bears
    the shadow of the illuminated cross
    and ponder the crocuses.

    I believe in crocuses.
    Each spring they rise
    from the thawed clay
    robed in purple
    or yellow, or white,
    or sometimes bearing
    garments of stirred swathes
    of both white and purple.
    Sometimes the yellow
    is streaked with black,
    hinting at the seductive
    advances of bees to come.


    The life of a crocus is brief,
    they fade back into the soil
    before the end of April,
    and silent.
    The pilgrim must
    crouch and invite
    the flower into the depths
    of her ear
    to hear the soft
    sermons of rustling petals.
    Even the scent of the crocus
    is muted, swiftly overpowered
    by the perfumes of stately magnolias
    and bright Hyacinths.

    Yet crocuses are tough.
    They weather the fickle days
    of late march, those fanged lambs
    that tear by with frost lined wool.
    A flash of purple
    in the chilled soil heralds spring
    and promises potential warmth.
    Through the crocus I am led
    out of the grim jaws of winter
    into paradise.




    Submitted on 2005-04-24 20:22:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I love crocuses.. with their beautiful petite and colorful blooms.. it's like they can't wait for spring... popping right up out of the snow. You've made a very lovely poem here in ode to their beauty and elegance... and so very cleverly done. In the first stanza (and on) I like the way you used it to show how you took yourself out of the complexities of life (such as religion) and stopped to take in and enjoy the more simpler things.
    Very well done!
    ~Sandra
    | Posted on 2005-04-25 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      Excellent work. The metaphor never loses a beat, your message isn't too deep to take a migraine to dig out, and your words were descriptive yet easy to read. I simply thought this was great!
    Five Stars! *****
    Be Happy and be proud of this
    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-04-25 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      Your poem is very clever. I'd admire your cunning and the use of contrasting to really show the difference between the church and "The life of the crocus."
    Being a christian, I myself should probably believe that church is wonderful place, but I too often myself longing to dash out the door and sit under the nearest tree and just watch the flowers bloom (Maybe it should be held outdoors).
    On the side, you have excellent stanzering (is that a word?), good descriptive words and are able to create the perfect imagery of the story you are trying to tell.
    Congrats!
    Arrowcat
    | Posted on 2005-04-25 00:00:00 | by Arrowcat | [ Reply to This ]


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