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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Makeup: A Widespread Brainwashdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: amateur
    Elite Ratio:    4.86 - 19/22/11
    Words: 76
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 719
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 637



    Description:
       What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?


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    dotsMakeup: A Widespread Brainwashdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I'll hide those pimples
    fulfill those lips
    color those cheeks
    exaggerate those lashes
    and after pregnancy
    I'll cover those strech marks
    because, you know
    some results of childbirth are just plain
    ugly.
    With age
    I'll conceal those wrinkles
    along with your
    thirteen year old daughter's
    face.
    I'll be what makes you beautiful
    and to the world I'll say very loudly
    but very subtly, of course,
    "A man's physical flaws are
    much more acceptable
    than a woman's."




    Submitted on 2005-04-25 12:33:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I don't wear makeup. I hate it, it is the devil, it makes me feel dirty and fake and dirty and dirty some more just because of that nasty oily feeling it gives.

    As for this poem, I think it would be much better if you could take it out of first person. It IS a good poem but sometimes first person really drains a poem of its goodness. Also, if you put it into the form of a prose poem (like a paragraph but with all the style of a poem) it would make it more creative and interesting.

    Let me know if you do any editing.

    -Secret
    | Posted on 2005-04-25 00:00:00 | by secret moon | [ Reply to This ]
      God, this made me absolutely ABHOR what make-up has done to our culture. and yes a man's flaws are SSOSSssosooss much more acceptable it makes me WRETCH inside just thinking about it. Can I say I hate this poem just for the content's purposes? ;) An intelligent, to-the-point piece that doesn't need anything added, or anything taken away...and I've always thought it funny make-up for faces is like spell-check for Word perfect. Why does BLOODY EVERYTHING have to be typed nowadays? What, plain old pencil and paper not GOOD ENOUGH for you????...oops...sorry...I'm going off on a rant. Actually I should make a piece about plain ol' pencil and paper, it could prove interesting;) As you can plainly tell, this has provoked me greatly. Hope to read more of your writes!
    ~Truffness
    | Posted on 2005-04-25 00:00:00 | by Trufflepiggy | [ Reply to This ]


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