[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Makeup: A Widespread Brainwashdots

    Author: amateur
    Elite Ratio:    4.86 - 19/22/11
    Words: 76
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 769
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 637

       What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMakeup: A Widespread Brainwashdots

    I'll hide those pimples
    fulfill those lips
    color those cheeks
    exaggerate those lashes
    and after pregnancy
    I'll cover those strech marks
    because, you know
    some results of childbirth are just plain
    With age
    I'll conceal those wrinkles
    along with your
    thirteen year old daughter's
    I'll be what makes you beautiful
    and to the world I'll say very loudly
    but very subtly, of course,
    "A man's physical flaws are
    much more acceptable
    than a woman's."

    Submitted on 2005-04-25 12:33:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I don't wear makeup. I hate it, it is the devil, it makes me feel dirty and fake and dirty and dirty some more just because of that nasty oily feeling it gives.

    As for this poem, I think it would be much better if you could take it out of first person. It IS a good poem but sometimes first person really drains a poem of its goodness. Also, if you put it into the form of a prose poem (like a paragraph but with all the style of a poem) it would make it more creative and interesting.

    Let me know if you do any editing.

    | Posted on 2005-04-25 00:00:00 | by secret moon | [ Reply to This ]
      God, this made me absolutely ABHOR what make-up has done to our culture. and yes a man's flaws are SSOSSssosooss much more acceptable it makes me WRETCH inside just thinking about it. Can I say I hate this poem just for the content's purposes? ;) An intelligent, to-the-point piece that doesn't need anything added, or anything taken away...and I've always thought it funny make-up for faces is like spell-check for Word perfect. Why does BLOODY EVERYTHING have to be typed nowadays? What, plain old pencil and paper not GOOD ENOUGH for you????...oops...sorry...I'm going off on a rant. Actually I should make a piece about plain ol' pencil and paper, it could prove interesting;) As you can plainly tell, this has provoked me greatly. Hope to read more of your writes!
    | Posted on 2005-04-25 00:00:00 | by Trufflepiggy | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A Drink written by jjd
    Wavelength written by saartha
    ME written by jjd
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Incubus written by monad
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    This written by Chelebel
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]