Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Kristallnachtdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Tears of Azrael
    ASL Info:    14/F/Lost
    Elite Ratio:    5.47 - 107/102/25
    Words: 113
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1034
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 794



    Description:
       I believe every victim of the Holocaust, whose innocent lives were abruptly taken away only by means of practicing their chosen religion, deserves a poem dedicated in memory of everything they went through...although this isn't the right poem to acknowledge their courage and strength.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsKristallnachtdots
    -------------------------------------------


    They came without a sound
    Slithering beneath the dripping sky
    Enlightened with prejudice and hate compound:
    "Every Jew deserves to die"

    Engaged in a welcomed killing addiction
    They ransacked homes and burned the synagogue
    Despair was born between fire and fear friction
    In one resolute, war-driven monologue

    Brainwashed to think it was an arbitrary choice
    No one tried hard enough to change a thing
    But those damned to an early grave had no voice
    Alas, the caged bird does not sing

    Carnage in the air, death was the season
    Lost cries forgotten in the embrace of twilight
    Sacrilege delivered with unjust reason
    The stars cried the blackest tears that night




    Submitted on 2005-04-25 16:52:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Actually, it's German, isn't it? Crystal night? Again, you tackle something in tribute to others, which I think is a great sentiment and again, you honor them. The difficulty with a poem like this is that it's an historical piece, long before your time . . . and that shines through here. Now, if you tied it in and told the story of someone you knew or met, it might make it a little stronger. But that aside, because really . . . you can write about anything you fancy . . . this was an excellent poem. Once again you show surprising depth for one so tender in years . . .
    | Posted on 2005-05-06 00:00:00 | by Vancrown | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a beautiful poem well chosen. True that it's not the right poem but it has to start from somewhere and you made that move. I love this poem.

    Two things i'd like to point out though. One is the spelling and the other is just a suggestion before it actually comes out of my head. I'm a very fast forgetter if that's even an english word but oh well. Let me point it out.

    Firstly, it's "synagogue" you probably typed it wrong accidentally.

    Secondly, i think "The stars cried the blackest tears tonight" it should be " the stars cried the blackest tears that night." You're talking bout something of the past, it cannot happen in the future.

    I think the title is dutch, right? I know night in dutch is nacht, but i don't know tell me if i am wrong.

    I basically love your poem because it represents something important and that you basically structure the poem well although there were times you fell off balance with the rhythm but it's okay, i didn't know till my second read. lol.

    Anyhow, good job. Looking forward in reading more of your poetry.
    | Posted on 2005-04-25 00:00:00 | by charmedidentity | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    56124

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry