Description: I have been inspired lately by some of the children's stories/prose/poems, etc. I pulled out part of a children's book I was going to do with fun art. I have another somewhere where she's at school & how her mind drifts off & what fun she has! This needs to be cleaned up & finished but I'm at work & I just snuck this in!
Love, Peace, Joy!!!
Merry Meet Epiphany. This is such a cute poem. Do you have children to help you come up with poems like these? If not you posses an absolutely fabulous imagination. This is the poem I read after Princess, and I must say you have inspired me to go home and write about my own daughters. Thank you for the inspriation. Blessed Be Andrea
aw this was cute. i try to do that, when i'm cleaning my room, make it fun... it's harder when you're as old as me though, lol. i wish i was still at that age, or had the innocence of that age, to turn everything into an adventure. *sigh* damn i miss being a kid... sorry. anyway, i think i'll keep this poem in mind the next time i have chores to do. maybe i, like daisy, will find my mind drifting away...
Little Daisy sure reminds me of someone I know. Hmmm...
This was fun and enjoyable to read. I think it would make an excellent childrens book to when put together with some art. I could just see the pages now. Very well done. The only thing I would change would be the second to last line:
And with Daisy cleaning there are never any troubles
Just a suggestion, it seems to flow a little better. Have a great one Ballarina and keep smilin'
*hugs* a feel good poem that puts a smile unknowingly on my lips. if only we can retain the imagination of a child as we once again stumble upon unexpected joy in the most mundane things in life. my relief teaching experience in junior school really made me realize that I should never cease to be amazed by the little wonders we can so easily neglect in life.
*laughs* i wish i could make my chores just as interesting! somehow in my mind the object becomes the enemy. curse you evil vaccume cleaner. *coughs* sorry, got a little off track. anyhow, this is a cute little piece but i have a question. you said you pulled this out of a book. all of it or did you just grab the idea? -the wildchild
Good and entertaining :)...I just wish I had someone to do my chores for me :P (maybe the sheep...) oops, sorry :P...A bit of a different style than I've seen from you :)...The only suggestion/suggestions I can see: So sweeping isn't dreary, what fun to make a bed!
The vacuum is a cloud floating where it's lazily led!
and... Dishes dance with silverware in the sink's bubbles
With Daisy cleaning there's never any troubles
Those two sequences seemed to be a little bit off <shrug>
This is a sweet little work that I find very refreshing. How wonderful it is to read a poem about the ordinary beauty of life. Of course you can't go too wrong observing the lovely children and their lack of caring about the daily troubles we endure. I think you are right that it could use a little work but it has all the qualities of a great poem. Dan