Description: alright this is jsut a peice i wrote an i dontknow i is poetry or prose so i say prose, if you think difrferently please message me or comment please post a comment!!!! but iwas feeling abit betrayed and yes this is based on truth...
I don’t understand
I trusted you
Thought you were life
But I was wrong
Oh so very wrong
Thought you were the light
I needed to see
But I was wrong
So very wrong
You were close to my heart
I thought min was close to yours
But I was wrong
I found a cold black heart
Beating slowly
Out of rhythm
You seemed so right for me
You seemeed to see
And understand me
But now you’re gone out of this
And your voice
Your personality I do miss
Never got to experience your soft sweet kiss
Yet you are the one chance I missed
The one chance of happiness
I missed out on it
The one true love I thought I had
You have left me shattered and torn
Now all I’m left with
Scars and scorn
Scars of old wounds begin to bleed
Opening, letting out my hurt
My dead feelings
The feelings I thought
Were put to rest
But I was wrong
Oh so very wrong
You were there but now you’re gone
Left me with no happiness
No light
The pain…
Its cutting deep
Like a knife
My razor blade so cool so calm
Brings forth blood so comforting so warm
Crimson tears
Fall to the earth
Feeling nothing of a rebirth
Just the death of my soul inside
As I sit and reminisce
Of the one chance I missed
My soul dies and my life chatters
In the end all you can hear are my cries
I thought you were there
To listen
To know
But your reciprocating efforts don’t show
I thought I found truth
But I was wrong
Oh so very wrong
All I found were where the lies came from
But I suppose another chance
could make you change?
You seemed so good
before you showed me the bad
The times you told me about
You seemed so sad
The madness you claimed was in your eyes
Has been replaced you said
It brought tears to my eyes
On the verge…about to cry
You had claimed you changed
but I don’t know
If I see
The fact that I can trust
you
and me
trust you completely? Never…but maybe someday
and myself? I don’t know
can I even trust myself to let my true colours show?
Or would I hide behind the masks and lies
That have hidden me so well?
Could you break the ties?
From my shadows
from my pain
Love me…again?
I hope I’m not wrong this time
I hope I can trust you
I hope you can stay
I hope you’ll be with me
Show me the way
Show me the light my life lacks
Bring back my happiness, so long dead
Take away my confusing thoughts in my head
Settle my fears
Wipe away my tears
I enjoyed this one. I can relate in a way. I just wrote one I named "Broken" about a friendship betrayal. As to your piece though... beside some spelling errors, I think it would sound better if you put puncuation in it... as if you writing a story. The flow was good. My favorite part is "I found a cold black heart Beating slowly Out of rhythm You seemed so right for me You seemeed to see And understand me" That heart beating out of rythem got me so. I look forward to reading more good analogies like this from you. Cheers!
dude, wow. this is an amazing piece. it's so well written that i'm not sure how i'm supposed to comment on it. the only question i have is if it's supposed to be a song, a poem, or what? i don't really think it counts as prose, but meh, what do i know? this poem makes me feel so at home, as if i'm the one you're writing about. thank you for this marvelous piece. -the wildchild
Submission Name: Wrong?
