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    dots Submission Name: Wrong?dots

    Author: MartiniMadeLvr
    ASL Info:    19/f/@death's door
    Elite Ratio:    3.44 - 94/121/46
    Words: 525
    Class/Type: Prose/Serious
    Total Views: 1023
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 3297

       alright this is jsut a peice i wrote an i dontknow i is poetry or prose so i say prose, if you think difrferently please message me or comment please post a comment!!!! but iwas feeling abit betrayed and yes this is based on truth...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    I donít understand
    I trusted you
    Thought you were life

    But I was wrong
    Oh so very wrong

    Thought you were the light
    I needed to see

    But I was wrong
    So very wrong

    You were close to my heart
    I thought min was close to yours

    But I was wrong

    I found a cold black heart
    Beating slowly
    Out of rhythm
    You seemed so right for me
    You seemeed to see
    And understand me

    But now youíre gone out of this
    And your voice
    Your personality I do miss
    Never got to experience your soft sweet kiss
    Yet you are the one chance I missed
    The one chance of happiness
    I missed out on it
    The one true love I thought I had

    You have left me shattered and torn
    Now all Iím left with
    Scars and scorn

    Scars of old wounds begin to bleed
    Opening, letting out my hurt
    My dead feelings
    The feelings I thought
    Were put to rest

    But I was wrong
    Oh so very wrong

    You were there but now youíre gone
    Left me with no happiness
    No light
    The painÖ
    Its cutting deep
    Like a knife

    My razor blade so cool so calm
    Brings forth blood so comforting so warm

    Crimson tears
    Fall to the earth
    Feeling nothing of a rebirth
    Just the death of my soul inside

    As I sit and reminisce
    Of the one chance I missed
    My soul dies and my life chatters
    In the end all you can hear are my cries

    I thought you were there
    To listen
    To know
    But your reciprocating efforts donít show

    I thought I found truth

    But I was wrong
    Oh so very wrong

    All I found were where the lies came from
    But I suppose another chance
    could make you change?
    You seemed so good
    before you showed me the bad

    The times you told me about
    You seemed so sad
    The madness you claimed was in your eyes
    Has been replaced you said
    It brought tears to my eyes
    On the vergeÖabout to cry

    You had claimed you changed
    but I donít know
    If I see
    The fact that I can trust
    and me

    trust you completely? NeverÖbut maybe someday
    and myself? I donít know
    can I even trust myself to let my true colours show?

    Or would I hide behind the masks and lies
    That have hidden me so well?

    Could you break the ties?
    From my shadows
    from my pain
    Love meÖagain?

    I hope Iím not wrong this time
    I hope I can trust you
    I hope you can stay
    I hope youíll be with me
    Show me the way
    Show me the light my life lacks
    Bring back my happiness, so long dead
    Take away my confusing thoughts in my head
    Settle my fears
    Wipe away my tears

    And I hope Iím not wrong

    I just hopeÖ.

    Just hope Iím not wrong.....

    Submitted on 2005-04-25 19:31:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I enjoyed this one. I can relate in a way. I just wrote one I named "Broken" about a friendship betrayal. As to your piece though... beside some spelling errors, I think it would sound better if you put puncuation in it... as if you writing a story. The flow was good. My favorite part is "I found a cold black heart
    Beating slowly
    Out of rhythm
    You seemed so right for me
    You seemeed to see
    And understand me"
    That heart beating out of rythem got me so. I look forward to reading more good analogies like this from you. Cheers!
    | Posted on 2005-04-25 00:00:00 | by Isaac | [ Reply to This ]
      dude, wow. this is an amazing piece. it's so well written that i'm not sure how i'm supposed to comment on it. the only question i have is if it's supposed to be a song, a poem, or what? i don't really think it counts as prose, but meh, what do i know?
    this poem makes me feel so at home, as if i'm the one you're writing about. thank you for this marvelous piece.
    -the wildchild
    | Posted on 2005-04-25 00:00:00 | by wildchild | [ Reply to This ]

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