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words in general


Author: nwproud
ASL Info:    27 / vancouver, wa
Elite Ratio:    5.61 - 280 /244 /64
Words: 62
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1641
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 458



Description:


just a couple random thoughts tonight...so many new faces here, such different types of writing... where's the inspiration? the form...?


words in general



on account of habit,
or for sake of choice,
limits one's mindset,
to silence their voice.
Choose not a path,
neither left nor right,
instead, your direction
lies not in sight...
One must wander
in a state of confusion
simply to realize,
the true illusion.
Seeking immortality
by way of the pen,
to be remembered forever
in the minds of men.




Submitted on 2005-04-25 19:50:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  amazing! That poem is awesome... it's the only one I've given a 5 to on this site yet! (well I joined yesterday...) There was one TINY problem, unless I totally misinterpreted your poem. If you did, figuratively nod your head graciously and ignore this. The first few lines were a bit confusing, I thought. "limits one's mindset/to silence their voice." Are you saying that to limit the mindset silences the voice? If so, you can just throw in an 'it' brfore the word 'limits'. Also, it limits ONE'S mindset, so it doesn't silence THEIR (cause it's plural) voice... Maybe say limits his? or the? Or one's?
But I liked the concept. A classic theme- don't make preconceived notions ("Choose not a path"), mankind's ultimate struggle is that for purpose, etc. It was self-explanatory and for some reason reminded me of old poets. Like William Blake. (Which of course is a huge compliment!)
Overall, this was an EXCELLENT submission. Good job!
| Posted on 2005-04-25 00:00:00 | by Kristen Gudsnuk | [ Reply to This ]


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