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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: words in generaldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: nwproud
    ASL Info:    27 / vancouver, wa
    Elite Ratio:    5.62 - 280/243/64
    Words: 62
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 777
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 458



    Description:
       just a couple random thoughts tonight...so many new faces here, such different types of writing... where's the inspiration? the form...?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotswords in generaldots
    -------------------------------------------


    on account of habit,
    or for sake of choice,
    limits one's mindset,
    to silence their voice.
    Choose not a path,
    neither left nor right,
    instead, your direction
    lies not in sight...
    One must wander
    in a state of confusion
    simply to realize,
    the true illusion.
    Seeking immortality
    by way of the pen,
    to be remembered forever
    in the minds of men.




    Submitted on 2005-04-25 19:50:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      amazing! That poem is awesome... it's the only one I've given a 5 to on this site yet! (well I joined yesterday...) There was one TINY problem, unless I totally misinterpreted your poem. If you did, figuratively nod your head graciously and ignore this. The first few lines were a bit confusing, I thought. "limits one's mindset/to silence their voice." Are you saying that to limit the mindset silences the voice? If so, you can just throw in an 'it' brfore the word 'limits'. Also, it limits ONE'S mindset, so it doesn't silence THEIR (cause it's plural) voice... Maybe say limits his? or the? Or one's?
    But I liked the concept. A classic theme- don't make preconceived notions ("Choose not a path"), mankind's ultimate struggle is that for purpose, etc. It was self-explanatory and for some reason reminded me of old poets. Like William Blake. (Which of course is a huge compliment!)
    Overall, this was an EXCELLENT submission. Good job!
    | Posted on 2005-04-25 00:00:00 | by Kristen Gudsnuk | [ Reply to This ]


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