Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Different Shades of Graydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Darkwarrior
    ASL Info:    27
    Elite Ratio:    3.51 - 60/63/33
    Words: 116
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 840
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 776



    Description:
       just written inspired from another poem i just read


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDifferent Shades of Graydots
    -------------------------------------------


    the paint lies on the wall
    a picture of pain
    a portrait of a sunset
    drowned out from the rain

    similarities it has
    with everchanging images everyday
    all with the same palet
    but different shades of gray

    last night i started to cry
    my brush my only cure
    a reflection of a child
    stared out my mirror

    so stroke by stroke
    i painted over the face
    that was washed out by tears
    so different from yesterday

    for yesterday was full of joy
    and portraits of flowers
    now the rain has come upon again
    and now me, a coward
    returns to my paintbrush
    my only true power









    Submitted on 2005-04-26 12:34:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Pretty neat. I liked the images .. they were guiding me in my own personal movie. . true there was no puncuation but maby that was your style or you don't care?
    | Posted on 2005-04-29 00:00:00 | by isis_lenore | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm not sure how to best critique this so I'll just do this:

    The paint lies on the wall:
    a picture of pain,
    a poitrait of a sunset
    drowned out by rain.
    Similarities remain
    through ever-changing images;
    all with the same palet
    but different shades of grey.
    Last night I started to cry;
    my brush my only cure.
    A reflection of a child
    stared out of my mirror.
    Stroke by stroke
    I painted over the face
    that was washed out by tears
    and so different from yesterday;
    for yesterday was full of joy
    and poitraits of flowers.
    Now the rain has come again;
    and I; a coward
    return to my paintbrush;
    my only true power.

    Capitalization and punctuation are very important for defining your lines and ensuring you convey your true thoughts accurately.Gramar is also important if you want to be taken seriously.You may also note a few other changes.
    | Posted on 2005-04-26 00:00:00 | by DarkenedSoul | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    56259

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    The World written by jjd
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Love written by saartha
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Carry written by saartha
    prison written by ShyOne
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry