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    dots Submission Name: Different Shades of Graydots

    Author: Darkwarrior
    ASL Info:    27
    Elite Ratio:    3.51 - 60/63/33
    Words: 116
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 854
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 776

       just written inspired from another poem i just read

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDifferent Shades of Graydots

    the paint lies on the wall
    a picture of pain
    a portrait of a sunset
    drowned out from the rain

    similarities it has
    with everchanging images everyday
    all with the same palet
    but different shades of gray

    last night i started to cry
    my brush my only cure
    a reflection of a child
    stared out my mirror

    so stroke by stroke
    i painted over the face
    that was washed out by tears
    so different from yesterday

    for yesterday was full of joy
    and portraits of flowers
    now the rain has come upon again
    and now me, a coward
    returns to my paintbrush
    my only true power

    Submitted on 2005-04-26 12:34:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Pretty neat. I liked the images .. they were guiding me in my own personal movie. . true there was no puncuation but maby that was your style or you don't care?
    | Posted on 2005-04-29 00:00:00 | by isis_lenore | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm not sure how to best critique this so I'll just do this:

    The paint lies on the wall:
    a picture of pain,
    a poitrait of a sunset
    drowned out by rain.
    Similarities remain
    through ever-changing images;
    all with the same palet
    but different shades of grey.
    Last night I started to cry;
    my brush my only cure.
    A reflection of a child
    stared out of my mirror.
    Stroke by stroke
    I painted over the face
    that was washed out by tears
    and so different from yesterday;
    for yesterday was full of joy
    and poitraits of flowers.
    Now the rain has come again;
    and I; a coward
    return to my paintbrush;
    my only true power.

    Capitalization and punctuation are very important for defining your lines and ensuring you convey your true thoughts accurately.Gramar is also important if you want to be taken seriously.You may also note a few other changes.
    | Posted on 2005-04-26 00:00:00 | by DarkenedSoul | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
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    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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