[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Different Shades of Graydots

    Author: Darkwarrior
    ASL Info:    27
    Elite Ratio:    3.51 - 60/63/33
    Words: 116
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 867
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 776

       just written inspired from another poem i just read

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDifferent Shades of Graydots

    the paint lies on the wall
    a picture of pain
    a portrait of a sunset
    drowned out from the rain

    similarities it has
    with everchanging images everyday
    all with the same palet
    but different shades of gray

    last night i started to cry
    my brush my only cure
    a reflection of a child
    stared out my mirror

    so stroke by stroke
    i painted over the face
    that was washed out by tears
    so different from yesterday

    for yesterday was full of joy
    and portraits of flowers
    now the rain has come upon again
    and now me, a coward
    returns to my paintbrush
    my only true power

    Submitted on 2005-04-26 12:34:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Pretty neat. I liked the images .. they were guiding me in my own personal movie. . true there was no puncuation but maby that was your style or you don't care?
    | Posted on 2005-04-29 00:00:00 | by isis_lenore | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm not sure how to best critique this so I'll just do this:

    The paint lies on the wall:
    a picture of pain,
    a poitrait of a sunset
    drowned out by rain.
    Similarities remain
    through ever-changing images;
    all with the same palet
    but different shades of grey.
    Last night I started to cry;
    my brush my only cure.
    A reflection of a child
    stared out of my mirror.
    Stroke by stroke
    I painted over the face
    that was washed out by tears
    and so different from yesterday;
    for yesterday was full of joy
    and poitraits of flowers.
    Now the rain has come again;
    and I; a coward
    return to my paintbrush;
    my only true power.

    Capitalization and punctuation are very important for defining your lines and ensuring you convey your true thoughts accurately.Gramar is also important if you want to be taken seriously.You may also note a few other changes.
    | Posted on 2005-04-26 00:00:00 | by DarkenedSoul | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Incubus written by monad
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    This written by Chelebel
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Giving written by jjd
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    To written by SavedDragon




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]