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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Final Hourdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Zu
    Elite Ratio:    5.12 - 446/379/76
    Words: 235
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Legend
    Total Views: 853
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1559



    Description:
       this is my second write about a "lost people". i was inspired by the movie "last samurai" and dream evil (the band). just need reviews and it would be good if you could also read the last warrior (http://www.eliteskills.com/z/53864).


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFinal Hourdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The smell of dust and blood
    Filtering through the rage of battle
    Last time we’re alive in this world
    In the night before the advent of light
    The water under the bridge
    Flowing silently, waiting for the fight.

    We will never back down
    Ready to face death
    The forests will be devoid of sound
    When we attack in stealth
    Tomorrow our fates will be decided
    Tomorrow we will fight for our honour
    Tomorrow we will stand united
    Tomorrow will be the final hour.

    The gleam of steel in the moonlight
    Shining in our grim eyes like jewels
    Blinding to a white our sight
    Midnight strikes the church bell
    Ringing with all its might
    Never stopping, trying to tell.

    We will never back down
    Ready to face death
    The forests will be devoid of sound
    When we attack in stealth
    Tomorrow our fates will be decided
    Tomorrow we will fight for our honour
    Tomorrow we will stand united
    Tomorrow will be the final hour.

    Fire and blood reign
    Fear is on all four sides
    Spread word through the plains
    The enemy is moving with long strides.

    We will never back down
    Ready to face death
    The forests will be devoid of sound
    When we attack in stealth
    Tomorrow our fates will be decided
    Tomorrow we will fight for our honour
    Tomorrow we will stand united
    Tomorrow will be the final hour.




    Submitted on 2005-04-26 14:53:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is an amazing song. The thing about music is that the lyrics need to be kept simple and you did a awesome job at keeping the simplisity and having a good meaning and thesis throughout the whole song.

    You made it personal, making the list ener/reader feel that they are right there, in with it alll, It captures a well thought out description and reaaly [paints the picture.

    My favorite part is the chorus, it seems so profound and a warning all should adhere to. This peice is a favorite, definitaly.

    Take care
    much love
    kaity
    | Posted on 2005-05-06 00:00:00 | by Kaitylizzy | [ Reply to This ]
      You know I read this once and I would've SWORN I commented on it. How odd. Oh well, here we go.

    Overall I liked this. I'm not a heavy rock fan, but every now and then when you want some kickyouinthebutt music to get you going, a song like this is exactly what you need. It was strongly worded and supported with images in the minds eye (I like that phrase:O) Your vocabulary was excellently chosen, also. It was a simple vocab, but it fit your descriptions so well I had to smile when reading this.

    "Midnight strikes the church bell
    Ringing with all its might
    Never stopping, trying to tell."

    I like the first two lines there, however I think you can do much better for the last line. Perhaps: "Breaking the silence in heaven and hell." or something. Its your piece and I'm sure you could think of something much better.

    Overall, excellent job as always Zu! I
    m really sorry I didnt comment on this the first time I read it, I wish I had because I can undestand where you're coming from in your last journal entry. Ahhhh, we'll see.

    -Kayla
    | Posted on 2005-05-05 00:00:00 | by Superman | [ Reply to This ]
      Zu,
    I really think this will be a good song. The structure is nice and steady between verses (I assumed the last strophe before the stanza was a bridge) and the chorus works well with the repetitive opening.
    Unfortunately I'm unfamiliar with the work of the band you sited, so I have a hard time getting a realistic picture of what this one sounds like. That's what makes lyrics hard to comment on in general. I find that a lot of people skip over the lyrics in favor of poetry or prose because of it.
    jan
    | Posted on 2005-05-05 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]


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