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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: untitleddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: punk_rock_chick
    Elite Ratio:    2.25 - 7/12/4
    Words: 133
    Class/Type: Misc/Angry
    Total Views: 844
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 715



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsuntitleddots
    -------------------------------------------


    How long do I have to stay here,
    this hateful place holding me down,
    my only hope to cut the ropes that hold me to
    this table, the table holding me down, holding me here keeping me from becoming what I have been put here to become,
    why hold me down,
    why keep me from doing what I was put here to do,
    inch by inch i try to pull away but with each move my wrist's become more and more bloody,
    this is not how I wished to die this painful death of hate,
    with each scream my lungs become more and more sore, soon i will have no more breath to scream to the person who was once there.
    holding me down to this table they call life......





    Submitted on 2005-04-26 17:56:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This was pretty good
    I have wrote so many poems about death and cutting my wrist.I just got out of the hospital and jail for it. any ways it was my faverite line was

    "with each scream my lungs become more and more sore, soon i will have no more breath to scream to the person who was once there."

    In the the middle of the poem it seemed to go out flow and it throw me off. Other than that it was good.
    Hope to hear from you.
    Keep writing.
    | Posted on 2005-04-26 00:00:00 | by seven11 | [ Reply to This ]
      i think that there are over 5 billion people who feel the same as you ive just never heard someone put it into words anyone could understand...
    keep writing the way you do
    !
    | Posted on 2005-04-26 00:00:00 | by blahblahgurl | [ Reply to This ]
      Certain lines are too longwinded (this table, the table holding me down, holding me here keeping me from becoming ), some of the wording is uninspired (inch by inch i try to pull away but with each move my wrist's become more and more bloody), and some punctuation is missing (inch by inch i try to pull away but with each move my wrist's become more and more bloody).

    One the other hand, it is a very well written poem, apparently with thoughts and emotions both behind it.

    Good job.
    | Posted on 2005-04-26 00:00:00 | by Ata_Khai | [ Reply to This ]


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