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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: IT'S JUST BUSINESSdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: xtremegentleman
    ASL Info:    22/m/FL
    Elite Ratio:    3.57 - 595/778/82
    Words: 352
    Class/Type: Rant/Fuck it all
    Total Views: 1808
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2539



    Description:
       I'm venting here...Like any business, Elite has it's ups and downs. But I just want to remind everybody who ever reads my work, it's only business. In quotations are the titles of some of the peoms I have posted on Elite. I think it is time people be reminded because we quickly forget.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIT'S JUST BUSINESSdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I dish-rag competition
    Fame is my only mission
    I follow my intuition
    Honestly it's just business

    If you're offended
    You pay the cost with your attention
    Whether spoken or written
    My words get a listen

    It's my dimension!
    I calculate my steps with precision
    Adding up to all the dollars
    That I see in my vision

    Now I'm a problem, an equation
    You all want to solve
    I suppose Elite's weak
    Want to see me dissolved

    People questioning...
    Why X is always getting involved
    Don't you remember?
    It's the same thing I did to win y'all.

    I gave you me!
    There's no one else I'd rather you see
    I gave you the streets I walk
    The project where I be

    Introduced myself in "This Is Me"
    Incredible piece
    Asked you all "How Can You Hate Me"
    So you love me the least

    My pride I did defend
    When I wrote "African Skin"
    "Poor Poet" still proves
    That the drama don't end

    "Single Mothers" was written
    Thinking of Elite friends
    "Love Is" proved that
    There is emotion in men

    Wrote "My First" in a woman's shoes
    Unusual angle
    Knew I had found myself some friends
    When I wrote "Three Angels"

    But I still feel so lonely
    So I'm close to my pen
    Heaven refused my homies
    So I'm close to my sins

    "Not Like You"
    Never got the views it deserved
    "Dysfunctional Family"
    Was posted to show you it still hurts

    After all it seems
    I am an "Invisible Man"
    This "Obstacle Course" is cruel
    "Let Me Go" if you can

    "The #1 Cause of Death"
    Is still love
    Although I wrote a "Beautiful Love Letter"
    I'm still a thug

    Look, an old man
    said to me last night
    Listen son, it's better
    To be respected than liked

    So you can hate me
    And love me and hate me again
    "It's Just Business"
    Now I'll sign my name with this pen!



    Brian Keith Collier




    Submitted on 2005-04-27 11:41:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i agree with all the others. this [censored] is ill. i don't know what's better, being respected or liked. but u should be both cuz this is some of the best [censored] i've ever read. keep writing [censored] like this
    | Posted on 2005-12-14 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]
      Xtreme-I have been to slams where poets traded barbs or continued word wars or oneupsmanship. i've seen here where someone is hurt or angry @ response & they show it-it's powerful but a little sad b'coz they are xposing a weakness. The word fights get the adrenalin going for me, the listener; the negative feelings I can empathize. Amidst all this comparable drama, THIS POEM you've done is so incredibly effective, STRONG, positive b'coz you are being true to your self! I've never seen or heard anything like this, with such class, good PR & self-respect. Even tho my heart wants folks to like me, I KNOW that respect is ultimately better. Now I must go read some of these. Very cool poem!
    With much respect-
    cleo
    | Posted on 2005-09-03 00:00:00 | by CleoCollier | [ Reply to This ]
      Every one has tipped their hand so I feel that I have to dip my two cents in, I like this poem,n ot for its meter or ryhme but becauseof its truth. You can't change the way you write or what you write about and still be called a writer or poet. People who ahve more to say about the writer and his style aren't people worth listening to.
    | Posted on 2005-05-26 00:00:00 | by Enslaved Shonen | [ Reply to This ]
      Poetry summeries and self explanitories of such nature are truely intresting.

    For the reader this is just being introduced to your work. This is probably the best way to get introduced to your writings and see that you have to offer in your other poetry.

    Unlike the others that rant avout personal preferance on one's style of writing. I find it mor importants that peices flow.

    That they have direction and convey a message.
    I think that these are the best traits of your poetry.

    I am unbiast there fore I can safely make such assumptions. So keep ut the good work.
    | Posted on 2005-05-08 00:00:00 | by Unicrom | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm not a huge fan of the Self mythologized, or the Rican skip-trip, or hip-hop/rap poetry as a form of self-expression. PM confessionalism has been done ad nauseum, and all the aforementioned follow along a similar vein. You know, cuz? It's all been done before . . . nothing original about it. Even the flow's lost its get up and go. Blazing a trail in someone else's dust just ain't the life for me . . . I'd rather take a risk and make up my own s h i t. The sooner you abandon this "style" and go after something original . . . the sooner you'll be on the road to real poetry.

    Just my humble 2 cents. Keep it under your hat for a rainy day . . .

    Peace.
    | Posted on 2005-05-05 00:00:00 | by Vancrown | [ Reply to This ]
      Vent vent vent! this is so damn interesting. . .Personal question? How cum you take sh*t so seriously?
    But back to the poem - brotha if i haven't said this be4 "U R REALLY TALENT'D".
    Loved the angle the use of previuos poems incorporated in such an "easy" reading way
    Nadia*
    | Posted on 2005-05-01 00:00:00 | by AfricanPrincess | [ Reply to This ]
      Unique spin on using your past poems to create this one...Awesome rhyme scheme :) You definatly have a unique style (Ack, now I'm repeating mysefl :P) Good job!

    Keep Writing!

    StW
    | Posted on 2005-04-28 00:00:00 | by Stwcjj | [ Reply to This ]
      This is tight bro. As usual it's always just business. This is an excellent poem. Which reminds me I have unfinished business myself.


    Smoothepapa
    | Posted on 2005-04-28 00:00:00 | by SmoothePapa | [ Reply to This ]
      First let me say bravo bravo bravo for what you wrote in your journal, now I didn't grow up in a Ghetto,but I still wouldn't let anyone attack me, my family or friends. I live by a simple rule, treat me like gold and I will treat you like platinum. If one starts taking bs from people,expect load more to be coming your way,that's life.

    I really love this poem,because it quite clever, you got to mention so many of your past poems in it, now that good business,lol

    I ty for saying very nice things about me and my writing. The whole reason I write about many unique subjects is to make people think and to appreciate other people, things, events, nature and of course God.

    My 94 years old grandmother who just past away, was asked, what is the best wisdom you would like to past onto the youth, she replied,just be yourself.

    Have you ever notice there are thousands of sheep and only one Shepard,wink wink
    | Posted on 2005-04-28 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ]
      i'm convinced. lemme break it down. and you think you were pissed?:
    met my first "Defeat" when my "Dad Machine"/
    grabbed my "Lavender" lines and threw them back at me/
    wrote so many pieces for girls who didn't love me/
    well, them [censored]es are safe since God loves ugly/
    its the "S4me" damn rap with an "ODE" to the "Trenchcoat"/
    i choked blood and did coke, and then afterwards i wrote/
    i poured more on the board than one would on a sword/
    but it seems the time has come for P to pull the [censored]in chord/
    cuz nobody hears the words, they just pick up the scraps/
    Cuz the Elite isn't welcome to poets who can rap/
    i been the hottest emcee on the skool yard tip/
    so i figured a poetry site would really dig my [censored]/
    but i get the same rejection that i get from kids/
    who i just put out of business who don't know what it is/
    when you run for so long its hard to stop and take a breath/
    but when the elite comes to shove, my slapping glove takes a rest/
    i'm impressed by the skills and the poets who post/
    but i get more respect from the writers i know/
    nobody's liked me my whole damn life/
    who's to say i'm an addict when all i like to do is right/
    rhymes in my wallet tryin to sneek em past the peeps/
    stayin up and typin my stuff so much, i lose sleep/
    this site is all grief, and i still believe in santa/
    gladly i got my homies in and blessed to meet someone like hannah/
    almost a year, this must be my anniversary/
    so ima make a comment by writing a little verse
    just for ME/. peace~P.J.
    | Posted on 2005-04-27 00:00:00 | by Aknahlij_d 1 | [ Reply to This ]
      I think some poeple just have issues with you being so proud and non-chalant about your work.
    I liked this one a lot too, and look forward to reading more of your great work.

    Unicorn.
    | Posted on 2005-04-27 00:00:00 | by Unicorn Poet | [ Reply to This ]
      This one has got to be your best yet. You really pulled me in with this one. I felt the tension yet I still felt pain. You to me, are kind of crying out in this piece. You are really trying to prove yourself.

    You have done so. You have proved yourself. This was beyond what I ever imagined from you! Great job!

    Li Li
    | Posted on 2005-04-27 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      Yeah X!! That line kind of made me think about A Bronx Tale... different quote though. Yeah, I remember the poems you put in quotations... most of them. Loved them of course. Not really much I can say except this was hot, as usual...
    | Posted on 2005-04-27 00:00:00 | by Phoenix2004 | [ Reply to This ]
      Very creative write.

    I loved how you implemented your past titles into this muse. I think that the people who have not taken the time to read all of your posts that you spoke of will still be able to grasp a meaning from this. For those of us who have taken the time to read and absorb your many metaphors and thoughts, we will gain the most of this write.

    I think this is the first what you call "rant" of yours that I've viewed that didn't seem to be an explosion of emotion...Your flow was right on this time. it remained strong and steady throughout the entire read.
    | Posted on 2005-04-27 00:00:00 | by Brownsdelight | [ Reply to This ]
      "It's better to be respected than liked..." nice touch. As creators we must only be true to ourselves and our God. Everyone else is just an ego trip we are on. You have great talent, as this piece portrays your range of expression. Always keep on, keepin on! Love, Peace, Joy & F@#! whatever anyone else says! epiph ; > }
    | Posted on 2005-04-27 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      If you're offended
    You pay the cost with your attention
    Whether spoken or written
    My words get a listen


    i wish i could have read these words before giving my attention to all the people that hate what i write.. i would have looked at it so much differently.. thanks to this piece, i will tear my rearview mirror off and dont look back... i find it hard for me to get inspired by others work, but this piece did the job oh so easily.. good write x
    | Posted on 2005-08-15 00:00:00 | by solemnpen | [ Reply to This ]
      liked it i honestly liked it. it was strong and it was true. yeah i did slam and ill probablly do it to someone else but in my piece bra, "poetry:the true meaning" thats what i talk about is truth in the pen and pad and you did it some people will like it others want but im kinda biased on the whole hip hop twist with it. but hey i can live with reading hip hop if it speaks like that

    and yeah you are right ITS JUST BUSINESS
    | Posted on 2005-06-13 00:00:00 | by dylanpoe | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
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    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    56399

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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