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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Endless Nightdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: DonKB
    ASL Info:    34/m/goergia
    Elite Ratio:    3.33 - 19/17/11
    Words: 112
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 1038
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 745



    Description:
       This is about the things in our lifes that we just can't change but wish we could. Please give me your vote on this!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEndless Nightdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I toss and turn within the night,
    From these countless flights,
    Of ever changing rhythm schemes,
    That plaque me when I dream.
    The ever changing madness,
    Which causes all my sadness,
    From which I try to hide,
    But it''s always by my side.
    Over and over it play''s again,
    like a movie that never ends,
    The haunting of my past,
    Has finally caught up at last.
    For all the words it harks,
    And the whispers in the dark,
    Find me trembling with fear,
    And shedding all my tears.
    So I lie there with my eyes open,
    Neverknowing only hoping,
    That the visions that I see,
    will one day not visit me.




    Submitted on 2005-04-28 12:51:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      The haunting of my past...
    Well lets see.. One of the most perfect lines in any of your works, In my own little mind. That right there is when you should of just stopped, that's right, just stopped, really couldn't have put it into better words myself'the haunting of my past', NICE
    | Posted on 2005-05-01 00:00:00 | by childs | [ Reply to This ]
      oh, i like this a lot..very good.
    the only things i noticed are...
    never knowing,
    only hoping
    or
    never knowing...only hoping.
    if seperated i think it would sound/read better.
    and then....
    That the visions I see...
    the other 'that' takes from the way that sentence sounds and is unnessecary. i read it over a few times to make sure. but this is excellent i loved it and am waiting for your next submission.
    CC
    | Posted on 2005-04-30 00:00:00 | by C. Starr | [ Reply to This ]


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