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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: POPULAR DEATH !!!dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: J-IDENTITY
    Elite Ratio:    2.69 - 76/108/28
    Words: 189
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Death
    Total Views: 967
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 947



    Description:
       FEEL MY IDENTITY-N-I'LL FEEL YO'S !

    " BLIND IS A BEAUTIFUL THING "


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPOPULAR DEATH !!!dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I tried to speak to all of you, but you all agnored me constantly. I JUST WANTED TO BE POPULAR !

    Ya nevered wanted to spend time with me. I JUST WANTED TO BE POPULAR !

    All I wanted was ya to care for me insted of ya for a change. I JUST WANTED TO BE POPULAR !

    You all treated me like I did'nt exist in this life time. I JUST WANTED TO BE POPULAR !

    Ya nevered asked me what I wanted, all ya did was assume the worst. I JUST WANTED TO BE POPULAR !

    Ya said ya loved me, but it felt like ya hated me. I JUST WANTED TO BE POPULAR !

    Ya even forgot my birthday and nevered remembered again. I JUST WANTED TO BE POPULAR !

    Ya nevered went to any of my award ceremonies. I JUST WANTED TO BE POPULAR !

    Then when I killed myself, now you all care for me and want me back. so when I die, all of a sudden I becamed POPULAR !




    Submitted on 2005-04-28 15:58:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    ||| Comments |||
      The "ya" has got to go and even though it was repitious, I kinda liked it. If you could straighten out the grammer a bit, it could be a lot better. It's kinda sad how important it is to some kids to be popular when all you need is one or two really close friends to make your life complete. Having parents that care helps too.
    | Posted on 2005-05-03 00:00:00 | by Jessa | [ Reply to This ]
      This was not very deep at all, and seemed to lack a lot of thought. I do not really like it when slang is used in poems, like "ya"..it takes away from any beauty that is there. Not to mention there were numerous spelling mistakes that took my mind off the poem. You really have to fix those.

    It felt a little bit too repetitive at times, even though you are just stressing the message you are giving. I think you should definitely revise this, because it is an interesting concept, but you just went about it in a, well, bad way...I am just giving an honest opinion.

    Later
    | Posted on 2005-05-02 00:00:00 | by xeternalshadowx | [ Reply to This ]
      This was alrightI I mean agree with angelfyre it wasn't that deep.I don't like how you used ya instead of you it seems to wreck the poem.
    I hope to re do this i don't mean to so mean.
    hope to hear from you.
    keep writing.
    | Posted on 2005-04-28 00:00:00 | by seven11 | [ Reply to This ]
      Well...
    Yes.haha
    This was ok, not really too deep. the message behind it was. you must be a poet...not becoming popular until after death. that's the way it works though...right? You should watch your spelling. It's sketchy.lol. The repitition also is a little bit much. It's good sometimes, but you may have gone overboard.lol
    | Posted on 2005-04-28 00:00:00 | by angelfyre | [ Reply to This ]


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