Put That Knife Down by juss

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Submission Name: Put That Knife Down dots

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Author:	juss_kriss
ASL Info:	16/f/canada
Elite Ratio:	3.86 - 399/443/123
Words:	138

Class/Type:	Poetry/Cutting or Mutilation
Total Views:	334
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	909

Description:

Put That Knife Down dots

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blood
escaping from the torn skin
made by a knife on my wrist
not deep, but deep enough to bleed
people say cutting takes away the pain
but the initial contact of the knife
digging into your arm
hurts more than a broken heart
though your words didn't help
what i did was not your fault
you didn't give me the knife
you didn't put it to my wrist
you didn't make me bleed
all of my bottled up emotions
cause me to explode
uncontrolled actions
that should have and could have been controlled
there was no hesitation
except for a split second before
cutting did not help
believe me, it made things worse
if you think that cutting solves all your problems
think again because i know nothing is worth it
so put that knife down

Submitted on 2005-04-28 17:35:05 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  i really think that it's a good idea for a poem. the flow as ok, i konw the feeling because i ahve been there, you could use some rewording, or some more structure, but it's a very good start. never give up on poety, because that and music is the only thing that kept me alive when i was a cutter, please check out my poem WHO DO I TURN TO?
| Posted on 2005-06-30 00:00:00 | by OrangeWithWhite | [ Reply to This ]
  I wish i have read this way before i would pick up my pocket knife. It wasn't till...i don't know... i just stoped i realized it wasn't worth it. Nobody knows i used to cut my wrist. if you look really close you can still see the scars.
Kay
| Posted on 2005-06-30 00:00:00 | by Kay | [ Reply to This ]
  The senence length is kinda scattered in some parts but in other parts it's rather good...Over all it's fairly well done. keep trying
| Posted on 2005-05-03 00:00:00 | by samyalone | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow, I think the point was clear and a good one that not so many people try to make.
On the wording and writing aspect it was a little rough but sometimes its ok to give up some of the smoth flow that poeple think about in poetryto get a point across. all-in-all I think this is a good piece of work.
Sarah
P.S. Don't do that no more!
| Posted on 2005-04-29 00:00:00 | by S.A.M. | [ Reply to This ]
  I don't really know how to feel about this poem because I am a cutter and if you have only expierenced it onced then you wouldn't know the full feeling poeple cut because for a little while they can forget about their emotional problems or family problems or what have you and focus and something else I think it was a good poem though. You could have use punctuation and capital letters in some parts of the poem but overall it was ok keep writing

~Teri~
| Posted on 2005-04-28 00:00:00 | by Fallen_Rose22 | [ Reply to This ]
  This was alright. It could of been more discriptive.The flow seemed to be better than other parts of the poem.Will i hope to hear from you.
| Posted on 2005-04-28 00:00:00 | by seven11 | [ Reply to This ]
  I have mixed feelings on this poem. I used to be involved in self destructive behavior, cutting being one of them. It's just sad...because it's such a pointless way to express your anger. I used to cut because for that one minute after you hurt yourself...you can only think of the physical pain going through your body, and your mental pain seems to disappear momentarily. Anyways, I think that the message you are getting across is very honest and true...but I think you need to work on rhythm and flow a little bit. Good luck.
| Posted on 2005-04-28 00:00:00 | by annabella041986 | [ Reply to This ]

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