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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The heat from my bathdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Brownsdelight
    ASL Info:    25/F/NUEVO MEXICO
    Elite Ratio:    4.43 - 1251/1055/115
    Words: 130
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 2279
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 881



    Description:
       Okay so Stolie77, Munchie_1226 and myself were joking around and decided to all write poems about lol vibrators...see..when women gather together the topics we talk about....

    This is my take on the whole "stimulating" conversation...I think I may add one more stanza though I think it ended too abruptly. also the title..eh I dont like it but couldn't come up with anything so suggestions are welcumed. :)

    Dont forget to check out Stolie's and Munchies posts as well.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe heat from my bathdots
    -------------------------------------------


    As the steam rises from
    The warmth of my tub,
    I lower my body while
    Giving my limbs a gentle rub.

    The hot water caresses
    Every inch of my skin.
    Fragrant bubbles surround me
    And so bath time begins.

    Now to the innocent eye
    It appears an average soak.
    Yet with my little rubber friend
    Dripping passion will soon be invoked.

    Eyes closed…. thighs spread
    Mr. Ducky goes for a dive
    His gentle vibrations case stimulation
    As I surrender to his wave creating ride.

    Mouth slowly parting as
    Warm breath escapes my lips
    Hand caressing one breast
    As I slowly rock my hips.

    No heed is taken as
    Water spills onto the floor
    Only conscious thought resounding
    Is the need for *gasp* more.




    Submitted on 2005-04-29 11:53:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Tink, i've had water experiences, and found the initial penetration a bit uncomfortable. (incidentally, i was doing the penetrating) But this certainly invokes thought, doesn't it?

    Thanks to you, my "weasel" is waking up from his nap again. You're gonna kill me girl!

    This was a really fun piece. I wish i could have more fun with writing. Anyway, soon i'll get through all of your stuff, but first, ....the bathroom!
    Later,
    Toby
    | Posted on 2006-03-28 00:00:00 | by afterglow | [ Reply to This ]
      My rubber duckie don't do this stuff. Damn you, rubber duckie! Why can't you cause me to spill bathwater everywhere? This was a great piece. Very sexy! Your erotic poetry is the [censored] best!
    | Posted on 2006-03-17 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
      I have read most of your pieces in the last hour... this one by far is my favorite.. the raw passion and sensuality drips from every steamy erotic word. This is by far the best passionate poem I have read so far on this site. Very inspirational, since I write a lot of passionate poetry also. I look forward to reading more of your work... and PLEASE continue to write much more erotic poetry like this one and "not afraid to be your dirty whore" both are incredible

    thanks for the inspiration...
    Ella
    | Posted on 2005-09-30 00:00:00 | by stormyskye | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a beautiful piece..particularly becuase I love "BATH TIME"...Its the immaculateness vested in water so there's a great deal of purity in this poem...It also takes one into the mind of a child, whilst we are being saduced by another adult figure. I loved this piece its a great read and its got rythm...
    | Posted on 2005-07-21 00:00:00 | by Nobantu | [ Reply to This ]
      My God!!

    Oh please, I want to be a rubber ducky!!

    Unfu*king believable! There goes another pair of shorts! Why do I bother wearing them when I'm going to read BrownsDelight?????

    Steve
    | Posted on 2005-08-03 00:00:00 | by SHRINKSDR | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow! as always you keep it real, This piece got me caliente and the part's I liked are

    Eyes closed&#8230;. thighs spread
    Mr. Ducky goes for a dive
    His gentle vibrations case stimulation
    As I surrender to his wave creating ride.

    Warm breath escapes my lips
    Hand caressing one breast
    As I slowly rock my hips.
    Good piece and Good job.
    | Posted on 2005-05-17 00:00:00 | by Lil_Santo | [ Reply to This ]
      um...uh...blushing...pants...getting tight...can't stand up for at least 3 minutes...would freak out my students...my soldier is saluting...wow...that was freakin sexy...i wanna take a bath...
    | Posted on 2005-05-13 00:00:00 | by treybur | [ Reply to This ]
      Mr ducky goes for a dive, my question can a ducky get wet twice while doing this,lol

    I am very glad to see you and the gang having fun and writing stuff people really do.

    Kool write
    | Posted on 2005-05-13 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ]
      Mouth slowly parting as
    Warm breath escapes my lips
    Hand caressing one breast
    As I slowly rock my hips

    k, now I'm drooling. You guys are too damn much fun.
    | Posted on 2005-05-12 00:00:00 | by deadndreaming | [ Reply to This ]
      well i have to say that you gave me a great laugh this morning. great write. this was so funny. you guys all crake me up. lol. well have a good day. lia
    | Posted on 2005-05-10 00:00:00 | by lili | [ Reply to This ]
      O.K., I am a little late to comment on these challenges and I am going to have to leave the same comment on y'all pages cuz they are just freakin all totally and completely awesomely hillarious. You all done good and I think you all equalled each other and the challenge is a three way tie to me...Browny...yours was the most totally erotic one of all...Muchie...yours was the most totally hilariously funny because it is probably something that any man or woman could get away with...and Stolie...well yours my dear...it was probably the most honest when you boil it down to reality. F'k-in "A" great job girls! Oh yeah, and you all did it in a very classy style too...no "bad" words and such...just, yeah...how a woman feels. Nice job girls...nice job indeed.
    DAVE
    | Posted on 2005-05-10 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      As erotic and sensual as this piece is, I find it hilariously light and funny, and a great insight to the woman you are. You're a breath of fresh air, and it's awesome that you can be so open and alive with your sexuality.

    *applauds* Excellent write! Keep up the porn...i mean the poems...yeah...*ahems*

    hehe...*hugs a plenty*

    ~~~~Avry~~~~
    | Posted on 2005-08-12 00:00:00 | by SouthrnQT | [ Reply to This ]
      Yes yes... leave it to a fellow Nueva Mexicana to bring in the reviews... but of course... that's what we do best... because we have no shame... and you have a special talent to show it with! I love this piece... it's very seductive and really pulls a reader in... the image goes as far as one will take it. But I was hoping for a couple more verses in it... perhaps a "climax" to the poem?! He he he... I'll have to read the rest of your work.. very soon. Excellent write! Cheers!
    | Posted on 2005-04-29 00:00:00 | by Isaac | [ Reply to This ]
      Holy hannah ....Erm...Yeah so this had a nice flow ..."no pun intended" ...I wouldnt add another stanza personally ...I like the hanging ending ...Im flustered....No sense will come out of me now...But i enjoyed the read alot ...Just goes to show ..when you have talent ...you can turn any subjext into a work of art...*a lollipop for you*
    | Posted on 2005-04-29 00:00:00 | by Krysti | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, Well, Well I think I'm under your spell.
    Isolation can be such a wonderfull thing, if only you could sure it with someone.
    Sweat.
    Got to love anything bout tubs and ducks, right.
    | Posted on 2005-04-29 00:00:00 | by childs | [ Reply to This ]
      O.O oh my! this was hott! *gets thoughts about her rubber ducky toy*... anyway... nice take on the challenge. you made your poem all steamy and sensual, but you definitely raised some eyebrows. i don't think you should add another stanza, though. the *gasp* for more is a perfect "ending", lol, if you know what i mean. nice job. ^_^
    hugs and a year's supply of rubber duckies,
    ~*dark_and_dreary*~
    | Posted on 2005-04-29 00:00:00 | by dark_and_dreary | [ Reply to This ]
      You girlz r crazy! Isn't bath time great! My friends always told me a great shower massager is a girls best friend! he he he Love, Peace, Joy & rubber duckies! Happy Friday!
    | Posted on 2005-04-29 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      yeee-haww...you done took it to a whole other level!

    you are a pro at the freaky deaky slap my azz poetry...im sure you will get a few admirers with this one...wanting to assits with bath time! LOL

    i dont think i can look at a rubber ducky again the same way...lol
    | Posted on 2005-04-29 00:00:00 | by stolie77 | [ Reply to This ]
      Bzzzzzzzttttt...

    Rubber ducky your the one...
    the only one...
    that can make me cum...
    Rubber ducky...
    I'm awfully fond of you...
    Shoo doo doop be doo!

    LMFAO

    HOT GIRL! H-O-T!

    Lovin this!

    Then there is mine...*raises brow*

    Li Li
    | Posted on 2005-04-29 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      LMAO!!!

    You three are crazy. Crrraaay-zay :)

    I am never, ever, ever going to be able to buy my kids a rubber duckie now. Almost scared to go see Nikki's post...Li Li took away Austin Powers...you've disposed oh-so-sexily of rubber ducks....what else am I gonna lose today??? LOL

    I am seriously considering declaring Fridays 'Midget/Dildo Day' (oh and there's another one on ES along these lines, titled 'B.O.B.'). And I have started my Friday morning with this.

    Oh dear.

    LOL

    Great post - really :)

    Kat
    | Posted on 2005-05-13 00:00:00 | by Katia | [ Reply to This ]
      y'all are so crazy! it's funny though. i worry 'bout y'all though, writing poems about vibrators... are there really no good men left?? i just... wow, T...
    | Posted on 2005-04-30 00:00:00 | by Phoenix2004 | [ Reply to This ]


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