Good work and emotion I liked the way you but the feelings into a vision by the way you used your words. I didnt tho like how it ened I think it needed a little more to it. But all in all it was a good read ~~Donna~~
very dramatic. i admire the powerful subtlety of this line... it was more (i'm not sure if it's the right word but...) mature (or possibly precocious) than the rest of the lines it supported.
that being said...
i noticed a gradual shift in the disposition of your character from the first stanza to the last. the growth was somewhat emotionally and mentally. from the usage of "littliest" (assuming that is not a typo) to the last fundamental line.
maybe that's just me.
personally, i would have seperated the last line from the fifth stanza to give it a little jolt... but that's just a suggestion of course.
Strange, How the Littliest things can Haunt one's dreams.
Guilt, Festering in the back Of one's mind.
That is my favorite part, it gives you time to stop and absorb what you read in the lines before. I tend to prefer poems that are written this way entirely, every stanza beginning with one word. You've done this in your own unique way, and that makes it even better.
Keep up the great work, I look forward to seeing more of your work.
i liked this poem a lot... especailly the very first stanza... it sounds really nice and has great flow... oh wait ti guess this is a bad comment to these guys... umm... IT WAS FANTASIC i really loved it and i really really think that you should keep writing becaus eyour work is great THNX