Description: NOTES:
Angel's hair lala baby's breath - from I great song originally by Nirvana and reused by Evanescence
Back Tears: Yeah, back, not black
Unoriginal, repetidive, just don't like over used topics: I'm glad for comments, and I welcome advice, but there's a point where some people cross the line from critiquing and critizing.
And yeah my spelling stinks.
A Cut Below The Rest -------------------------------------------
Metalic tasting blood oozed slowly
I watched and blinked back tears, but felt no pain
My veins slowly let the hate, the pain, leak away
With blessed sleep along come the nightmares
So, the needle stings my flesh once more
To drain the poison from my soul
Everyone thinks I'm a cut above the rest
So those who taunt and tease, surely won't bother
But truth be told I'm not a cut above the rest
I'm just a cut, marring my flesh
Keeping my just so far from perfection
I'll try to hang myself on angel's hair
And smother the pain on baby's breath
Like with Mercutio, I tempted fate and have met my doom
With this cut I bring myself a bit closer to death's gravity
While descending I realize,
I'm just a cut below the rest
Yeah the love of my life was a cutter, she tried to get rid of the foul lies and the shame through a release of the poison you speak of, although she regrets it now, cause she wants me to have what she thinks I should have, but I think the scars are an absolutely beautiful sign of life in her, she made it out, she is still alive, mainly cause she found a way finally to hide away the pain, she stores it in me, and I take it all in with open arms and a universe-sized heart. A kiss to invisibly seal her wounds.
I say this with nothing love, you can find a way out, it all starts inside you, knowing what it takes to feel again, the old fashioned way, the forgotten way before tradegy, pain is injected into you by someone else's hands not yours, you must believe this and find someone who feels the same way.
Strong stuff...deep and dark. Some parts of the poem are problematic in terms of clarity. For instance "metallic tasting blood". Who exactly is tasting the blood, and why? "I'll try to hang myself on angel's hair" is a great line, but i'd take the "try" out of it. It sounds so unresolute that way. I dunno, its up to you. Its important to feel accepted, but you'll discover that many people are sick and what they think of you is more a matter of them projecting their own nonsense on to you. So don't let people's opinions of you taint your own sense of self-identity. Line 3 is my favorite line of the whole poem and i'll tell you why. I was once a cutter myself(long story). Many years later a therapist (sometimes we need 'em) explained to me (seeing the scars) that we only cut to let the pain out.
Poetry does the same thing.
Hope you're not really carving on yourself. Thanks for sharing and keep writing it will sustain you all my best, kc
Submission Name: A Cut Below The Rest
