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Author: darkness
ASL Info:    19/F/my own world
Elite Ratio:    1.84 - 524 /218 /40
Words: 73
Class/Type: Poetry /Depressed
Total Views: 1396
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 449


BERJABERS!!!! Why must u expect of me so?
i tried 2 make this rhyme and spell stuff rite but......


expectations of the living
expectations of the dead
if this should ever cease
i shall never be filled with dread
o would that be a dream come true
for you
never to expect of me again
for you
to let me be
be myself
not somebody you expect me to be
when all these expectations
fill my head
i truely wish i were dead
rather then to be filled with dread

Submitted on 2005-04-29 21:35:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  nice rymes the last few lines were the best!
they rymed really cool and the beging was also very emotionfull im still like whoa...

| Posted on 2006-03-14 00:00:00 | by goomaster03 | [ Reply to This ]
  This is quite morbid! It's a good attempt though, i think your use of repetition really helps to hammer your points home. And your spelling is fine as far as i can see: except for 'then' in the last line should be 'than'.

Also i would look again at the lines 'if this should ever cease/ i shall never be filled with dread' - that confused me a bit on the first read through. I think 'i should not be filled with dread' would work better and be clearer.

Don't let ppl's expectations get to you! Take care and keep writing xxx
| Posted on 2005-05-04 00:00:00 | by tulip | [ Reply to This ]
  this was such an awesome poem...expectations...whoah
thats a good topic to write on as well
the format of ur poem like rhyming/not rhyming...i dont know it just sounded kinda kool.
| Posted on 2005-04-30 00:00:00 | by UnPerfect | [ Reply to This ]

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