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expectations of the living
expectations of the dead
if this should ever cease
i shall never be filled with dread
o would that be a dream come true
never to expect of me again
to let me be
not somebody you expect me to be
when all these expectations
fill my head
i truely wish i were dead
rather then to be filled with dread
| nice rymes the last few lines were the best!|
they rymed really cool and the beging was also very emotionfull im still like whoa...
|| Posted on 2006-03-14 00:00:00 | by goomaster03 | [ Reply to This ] || This is quite morbid! It's a good attempt though, i think your use of repetition really helps to hammer your points home. And your spelling is fine as far as i can see: except for 'then' in the last line should be 'than'.|
Also i would look again at the lines 'if this should ever cease/ i shall never be filled with dread' - that confused me a bit on the first read through. I think 'i should not be filled with dread' would work better and be clearer.
Don't let ppl's expectations get to you! Take care and keep writing xxx
|| Posted on 2005-05-04 00:00:00 | by tulip | [ Reply to This ] || this was such an awesome poem...expectations...whoah|
thats a good topic to write on as well
the format of ur poem like rhyming/not rhyming...i dont know it just sounded kinda kool.
|| Posted on 2005-04-30 00:00:00 | by UnPerfect | [ Reply to This ] |