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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: inner vulturesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: andnow
    ASL Info:    19.f.wa
    Elite Ratio:    3.57 - 136/135/42
    Words: 12
    Class/Type: Haiku/
    Total Views: 800
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 77



    Description:
       ...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsinner vulturesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    cancer among us
    circle in like vultures do
    waiting last to fall




    Submitted on 2005-04-30 15:17:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Dear Sara;
    I like this Haiku a lot, and I believe that you convey a very descriptive story, which is quite hard to do in 17 syll. Nice job, keep it up. I got some Haiku also, if you would like to read it.
    ~~Mykquillion
    | Posted on 2006-08-14 00:00:00 | by Mykquillion | [ Reply to This ]
      thank you for the help, im going to edit it... and i always thought circling was pronounced cir-cle-ing until i looked it up just now.

    thanks :D
    | Posted on 2005-05-01 00:00:00 | by andnow | [ Reply to This ]
      i love haiku...alot of mine are in the chained format...your second line only has 6 syllables...
    maybe change it to "circle in"...and you have a misspelled word "among"...i do like like concept of inner vultures...

    pestiferous
    | Posted on 2005-04-30 00:00:00 | by pestiferous | [ Reply to This ]
      Yeah, it's sad. Kinda weird how haiku's even though so short and to the point can tell a whole story if worded right. Good job here...
    | Posted on 2005-06-15 00:00:00 | by gavinspikenard | [ Reply to This ]


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