[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Nightmare II: The Apostasydots

    Author: xeternalshadowx
    ASL Info:    17/m/pennsylvania
    Elite Ratio:    4.72 - 121/137/55
    Words: 103
    Class/Type: Poetry/Gothic
    Total Views: 1677
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 745

       second nightmare...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNightmare II: The Apostasydots

    Entangled in thorns,
    Blood disheveling from hollow eyes,
    The carnival of lustful whores
    Embraces the whimsical blessings
    Of the sermon.

    Slitting of the veins
    During the puritanical litany,
    The indoctrination of a raped faith
    Unleashes Hellís winter
    In the midst of Heaven.

    Maggots lacerate the bowels of the Christ
    While tears of blood rain upon the faithful.
    Dreams evanesce as hearts blacken from decay.

    The blessed of euphoric nature
    Tortured and chained
    To the stars of the velvet wrapped skies,
    The Lamb of God is laid to rest
    Amongst the dismembered tyrants
    Of an abysmal grave.

    Submitted on 2005-05-01 09:31:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I do agree with infernal_rose, you have facinating nightmares. This is extremely vivid. Very scary. As yet again, it appeals to the depressed suicidal side of me. Overall, I would say this is weel written. My comment is not based on the dream, but how you wrote it. No judgement will be passed.
    To put it blutly, I liked this. Because it shows you have extreme talent with writing what you see. Making sure the details are in place. It is exquisite.

    Broken heart dies
    | Posted on 2005-07-29 00:00:00 | by Broken heart dies | [ Reply to This ]
      Interesting words and imagery you have used. You're not familiar with Anton Szandor LaVey by any chance, are you?

    This sort of writing isn't my cup of tea, but I do appreciate what you've written here. A Black Mass indeed. This reminds me of my death metal gothic phase back in school. It was fun... at the time. Pretty depressing though, looking back on it. Depressing fun, if there is such a thing lol.

    | Posted on 2005-07-17 00:00:00 | by alteredlife | [ Reply to This ]
      this made me smile...not an easy feat on a Sunday morning. this type of writing reminds me more than a little of the lyrics of a certain english black metal band. something tells me im going to have to back track and read the first nightmare. but this is superbly visual, and whilst we're speaking of visuals it summons the unsettling apocalyptic image of wanton ladies dancing around a grotesque disemboweled christ, a Christian's nightmare of the Black Mass. This seems to celebrate such a scene, but that may just be my reading. If so, this won't be to everyone's taste. the tone doesn't seem to be obvious here despite the fact this is meant to be a nightmare...it seems to be left up to the reader's personal reception. But i commend you for all the interesting and vivid associations you manage to pack into here, the carnival, the litany, the blood raining on the congregation of the pure and heavenly. i wonder how other's will react to this...if this is one of your own, what fascinating nightmares you have...
    | Posted on 2005-05-01 00:00:00 | by infernal_rose | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]