Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Star Dancerdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: sugar-n-spice
    Elite Ratio:    4.43 - 55/49/8
    Words: 28
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 830
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 225



    Description:
       A surreal beauty dancing...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsStar Dancerdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Your sequined dress
    twirls in starlight splendour
    catching the
    shadows unaware.

    Leaving a trail
    of moon-dipped footprints
    on the winding road
    of serendipity.




    Submitted on 2005-05-01 09:47:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Yes, I concur. What you've got here is just lovely as a slice in time, taken on In Medias Res. A couple more stanzas would add something to the magic, and make it more gripping to your adoring fans.

    Beautiful write. Now write more!
    | Posted on 2005-05-27 00:00:00 | by Vancrown | [ Reply to This ]
      Short and Sweet. Okay, but I think it needs at least one more stanza to it. Also a egginning , middle and end. Well that is the way I see it at least. it was a good descriptive poem made you think about what it was that you was readng that is for syre but yea I agree with the others it needs something more to it
    | Posted on 2005-05-02 00:00:00 | by ThatWasOnceMe | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmmmmm i agree with Haecceity on not being sure what is meant to be had or how it is nostalgic...because it is short, however, you can incorporate your own meaning, which makes the shortness good, on the other hand, if you lengethened it you can personally involove more of the audience with more feeling...your choice, it could be good either way.
    | Posted on 2005-05-01 00:00:00 | by Mercy December | [ Reply to This ]
      I certainly wouldn't mind if you made it longer, this is very good, my star dancer was a comet weaving through the heavens, leaving a wake of wonderment behind.
    Beautifully written.
    Be Happy
    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-05-01 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    56950

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry