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    dots Submission Name: Star Dancerdots

    Author: sugar-n-spice
    Elite Ratio:    4.43 - 55/49/8
    Words: 28
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 878
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 225

       A surreal beauty dancing...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsStar Dancerdots

    Your sequined dress
    twirls in starlight splendour
    catching the
    shadows unaware.

    Leaving a trail
    of moon-dipped footprints
    on the winding road
    of serendipity.

    Submitted on 2005-05-01 09:47:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Yes, I concur. What you've got here is just lovely as a slice in time, taken on In Medias Res. A couple more stanzas would add something to the magic, and make it more gripping to your adoring fans.

    Beautiful write. Now write more!
    | Posted on 2005-05-27 00:00:00 | by Vancrown | [ Reply to This ]
      Short and Sweet. Okay, but I think it needs at least one more stanza to it. Also a egginning , middle and end. Well that is the way I see it at least. it was a good descriptive poem made you think about what it was that you was readng that is for syre but yea I agree with the others it needs something more to it
    | Posted on 2005-05-02 00:00:00 | by ThatWasOnceMe | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmmmmm i agree with Haecceity on not being sure what is meant to be had or how it is nostalgic...because it is short, however, you can incorporate your own meaning, which makes the shortness good, on the other hand, if you lengethened it you can personally involove more of the audience with more feeling...your choice, it could be good either way.
    | Posted on 2005-05-01 00:00:00 | by Mercy December | [ Reply to This ]
      I certainly wouldn't mind if you made it longer, this is very good, my star dancer was a comet weaving through the heavens, leaving a wake of wonderment behind.
    Beautifully written.
    Be Happy
    | Posted on 2005-05-01 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]

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