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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Just You and Medots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Gravitic
    ASL Info:    20/m/tn
    Elite Ratio:    4.04 - 28/30/8
    Words: 77
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 593
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 482



    Description:
       I wrote this in about 10 minutes...I hope you enjoy...constructive criticism is welcome


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsJust You and Medots
    -------------------------------------------


    Her eyes, glow a crystal
    Her lips, are a rose
    Her hair, soft as clouds
    Her smile, soothes the pain

    My hand taken from me
    My eyes focused on one thing
    My heart hurts no more
    My knees are giving out

    When you walk my way
    The whole world tilts your way
    And day by day
    I know without delay
    You are mine
    I'm yours

    Lets keep it that way
    Just you and me...




    Submitted on 2005-05-01 15:24:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is a great love poem. As one who tends to write love poems, I must say this is wonderful.

    My hand taken from me
    My eyes focused on one thing
    My heart hurts no more
    My knees are giving out

    This stanza is, is, so sweet (I feel odd saying that since I'm a guy). That last line makes that perfect. My only piece of advice, is to maybe remove the "no" from

    I know without no delay

    And leave it as

    I know without delay

    I really enjoyed this though. It was good.

    Justin
    | Posted on 2006-06-26 00:00:00 | by IamYourTragedy | [ Reply to This ]
      This as a nice little toe tapping to it.
    Not much in way of forwarding the advancement or text but like you said 10min of work pretty cool.
    | Posted on 2005-05-03 00:00:00 | by childs | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey there. First off, I'd like to welcome you to the site. I really hope you enjoy it here. This place is really awesome and I've met a lot of great friends here and I'm sure you will too.

    This piece is really sweet. My honey writes poems for me on occasion. I always find it so endearing when he does that for me because for me poetry is the expression of words left unspoken.

    Anyhoo...hope to see more of your work soon. Much love to ya. :-)
    | Posted on 2005-05-01 00:00:00 | by Juliets_dagger | [ Reply to This ]


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