Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: "Love; Fuck It"dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: LameMansTerms
    ASL Info:    36/M/Hermosa Beach, Ca
    Elite Ratio:    4.31 - 713/1012/165
    Words: 121
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1295
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 783



    Description:
       I don't really -totally have it in for love completely-I just say fuck it-I am not looking for it and I hope it aint looking for me. I swear if I ever met (if there is such a thing) Cupid.
    I might kick his ass and take his bow and sell it at the pawn shop


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots"Love; Fuck It"dots
    -------------------------------------------


    There was a time,
    Way back when,
    I thought Iíd find
    True love and its
    Place in my life.
    But experiences have taught me better.
    Never again will I say those words to her.
    I move cautiously and slow.
    Iím weary of the pain that came,
    Not that long ago.
    Iíve been devastated,
    By this feeling so over rated.
    And itís made me somewhat jaded.
    If being in love means being happy. (I say)
    Fuck it! Iíll find my peace of mind some other way.
    And nobody will ever again get close to me.
    And Iíll be just fine.
    They canít break me.
    I wont let them.
    Theyíll never forsake me.
    Not ever againÖ.

    ~lamemansterms~







    Submitted on 2005-05-01 19:39:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I get to a point where I say Fck love. Yet, I know in my heart that I am destined for something. I am a single mother...I do have an unconditional love...yet I know that there has to be more. There has to be something special...someone special. You have put yourself in a world where you don't want to feel pain. Losing love is the worst pain of all. I think that you will find love. Or rather...it will find you. It just takes patience and time. We are put here for a purpose...and it's not to be alone.

    I have a hand to reach out for you. For I know that you deserve more then just lonliness.

    I feel for you.

    Seriously,

    Li Li
    | Posted on 2005-08-26 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow...okay...I like this...
    I think you clearly explain what it's like to have gone through a relationship in whch you were left with...welll...without a better way of saying it...the sh*tty end of the stick.
    Or to put it all nice for all the softies...
    You had your heart broken.
    and thats something, unfortunatley we all have to go through.
    I've had my heart broken by not just men,but family and friends too.
    Only someone you really care about can cut you that deeply.
    and I have felt this a lot in my life...
    F*ck it...
    No one will hurt me again.

    But you know what...they still do...because we are human and we all want to be loved.
    to be close with others, so we eventually let our guard down.
    sometimes we get burned and sometimes we are the ones holding the moltov cocktail.

    but it's a beautiful thing when it all works out and no one gets burned.
    okay...as far as the poem goes...structure wise...i like that too, i felt, at first it was a little choppy, then it sorta all came together.

    Anyways...i really liked it !

    CC


    | Posted on 2005-07-28 00:00:00 | by C. Starr | [ Reply to This ]
      Aren't we all afraid of a broken heart!??
    Yet cupid is slicker than u might think.

    Anyhow not bad th poem, pretty much expresses how a lot feel. How when u r in love u r exposed and how when u fall out of love u don't want to do it again.

    The rhyme seemed a bit forced at times, but nothing too serious.
    Not one of ur best writes, but good nontheless.

    Peace
    Viviane
    | Posted on 2005-07-24 00:00:00 | by babyblue002 | [ Reply to This ]
      to say you will forsake love forever is to say you will never again walk in the rain, but then you find yourself out in the open when the sky decides to pour through the sun. "It" is not a choice. It happens when we least expect it and it is not a matter for your mind to opine on. It comes from all other places.

    So to even utter these words speaks of a place that you are at where you are doing much reflecting and inspecting and are finding it hard to justify the pain that love has caused you. So sure, keep those eyes wide open, and keep that heart guarded, but understand that love has a way of breaking through even the most secure doors and there is always a window left open somewhere.
    | Posted on 2005-05-17 00:00:00 | by deadndreaming | [ Reply to This ]
      Strong words, good write. Short and sweet how it should be, I think it fits well with this topic becuase you despise this "love" so why say more than you have to? The rhyming was a little sketchy but it still flowed well, I could definitely relate to this poem.
    Take Care,
    -Tom
    | Posted on 2005-05-10 00:00:00 | by UnspokenDreamer | [ Reply to This ]
      Man, I hate falling in love. I did once, and I had my heart broken. He was just kind okay the one day, and next he's walking down the street after me telling me that it's over. Yeah, writing about real life is always good whenever you have writers block. Hope you get over it soon.
    ~Jess
    | Posted on 2005-05-05 00:00:00 | by shmuzzelle | [ Reply to This ]
      Ouch. Not angry are ya? Okay, sorry, being a smartass, hence the name. I really enjoyed this. The without having to use alot of words, you conveyed the emotions of hurt, anger and just giving up. Very nice work. Hopefully it's fiction and you haven't completely given up on love. That would just suck.
    Traci :)
    | Posted on 2005-06-02 00:00:00 | by onetruesmartass | [ Reply to This ]
      "Whit's for ye. Will no go by ye" as my old mum used to say.

    At least you love your dog.

    Love is such a broad thing, and I think you've made that point very well in this poem. It's no use pouring your love into an individual, as humans, we are flawed and imperfect..Therefore the love we can offer or receive is imperfect also.

    It's a difficult vocation closing ones emotions and allowing no-one to touch the core of one where there is no defence mechanism, where a the scar tissue remains sensitive. Loving a person is just not for everyone.

    I liked the subtlety in "Never again will I say those words to her". She is obviously a person and room is left there for you to redeem the feeling with another.

    In your poem, even the words leading up to "I move cautiously and slow" are in themselves cautious statements..

    I think your other commentators may have missed the point somewhere when they are reading. As the writer has already written about being hurt and jaded by loving someone.
    This is immediately followed by the "If" line. To my mind it is the line which gives the whole poem a sentiment of someone not saying "[censored] it" to love, but is rather choosing to remain unconvinced by it.

    The words "They can't break me" is a curious choice as well. Turned upside down I would ask why letting someone close is letting someone break the writer. This is one of the best defencive poems I've ever read. As it's nature does not decry the usefullness of love but states that things like desertion and being unrequited in love is not a price worth paying for an individual who can function without it.

    It certainly isn't a path I'd choose, but I know plenty who choose this way
    | Posted on 2005-05-03 00:00:00 | by Sanny | [ Reply to This ]
      wow...you sound like me awhile back...you go through so many fu ck ed up relationships...repeatidly...coming out getting hurt...that you eventually say...screw this sh it...and everytime anyone tries to get close to you...you put up those walls...but but...its not good to think its always going to be that way trust me ...it won't be though your probably reading this thinking what a load of crap...she nows nothing...lol...but it just makes me sad to see people feel this way...ok...now the write itself...i think the structure could be worked a lil better...i think if you messed with the line lenghths...it would improve how it reads and maybe spice of the anger with some metaphors...unless this is purely a venting piece and you like it to be raw and unclothed...purps
    | Posted on 2005-05-01 00:00:00 | by purplesun24 | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey there. I'm sad to see that you have such a bad outlook on love now. Seems like somebody must've hurt you pretty bad. I can tell you from experience, that even though love can hurt like hell, it's worth it when the real thing comes along. But hey, that's just my silly little opinon. Other than that, nice poem. Much love to ya. :-)
    | Posted on 2005-05-01 00:00:00 | by Juliets_dagger | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    57020

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry