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On the Stage


Author: Kat Feline
ASL Info:    15/F/WA
Elite Ratio:    2.53 - 9 /9 /3
Words: 81
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1014
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 582



Description:


This is my description of being on stage while dancing. The thrill, the fullfillment, and the fun of dancing.


On the Stage



Waiting patiently,
behind the crimson curtains.
Then I hear my cue.

I walk with style,
my shoes making different sounds.
Drums, making music.

I feel the music,
pulsing through my veins and head.
It swallows me whole.

The song is fading
slowly away, my heart is
thumping in my chest.

I turn to the aud-
ience. Smiling, I take my
bow. My feet are done.

Turning, I exit.
Another performance done.
Can't wait for the next.




Submitted on 2005-05-01 23:04:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  When I read this, it really makes me remember heading out on the stage and performing. I thought that image was very clear and vivid in your poem. One thing though, I think you ended it off too abruptly. I would change the ending. But I really like the poem because it brings back the butterfly feeling in my stomach.
| Posted on 2006-03-19 00:00:00 | by emanol | [ Reply to This ]
  a little choppy- the rhythm is sort of off at times because in a couple of lines it has 4 or 6 syllables, instead of 5 or 7. But I like the way you make the reader feel like they're up on the stage with you- for the first couple of stanzas, at least. But for the last four verses, you kind of threw me off there- somehow the second part doesnt exactly match with the first half.

come visit my site!

Jelly Bean
| Posted on 2005-05-04 00:00:00 | by Toxic Rose | [ Reply to This ]


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