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    dots Submission Name: On the Stagedots

    Author: Kat Feline
    ASL Info:    15/F/WA
    Elite Ratio:    2.53 - 9/9/3
    Words: 81
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 629
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 582

       This is my description of being on stage while dancing. The thrill, the fullfillment, and the fun of dancing.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOn the Stagedots

    Waiting patiently,
    behind the crimson curtains.
    Then I hear my cue.

    I walk with style,
    my shoes making different sounds.
    Drums, making music.

    I feel the music,
    pulsing through my veins and head.
    It swallows me whole.

    The song is fading
    slowly away, my heart is
    thumping in my chest.

    I turn to the aud-
    ience. Smiling, I take my
    bow. My feet are done.

    Turning, I exit.
    Another performance done.
    Can't wait for the next.

    Submitted on 2005-05-01 23:04:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      When I read this, it really makes me remember heading out on the stage and performing. I thought that image was very clear and vivid in your poem. One thing though, I think you ended it off too abruptly. I would change the ending. But I really like the poem because it brings back the butterfly feeling in my stomach.
    | Posted on 2006-03-19 00:00:00 | by emanol | [ Reply to This ]
      a little choppy- the rhythm is sort of off at times because in a couple of lines it has 4 or 6 syllables, instead of 5 or 7. But I like the way you make the reader feel like they're up on the stage with you- for the first couple of stanzas, at least. But for the last four verses, you kind of threw me off there- somehow the second part doesnt exactly match with the first half.

    come visit my site!

    Jelly Bean
    | Posted on 2005-05-04 00:00:00 | by Toxic Rose | [ Reply to This ]

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