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Waiting patiently, behind the crimson curtains. Then I hear my cue. I walk with style, my shoes making different sounds. Drums, making music. I feel the music, pulsing through my veins and head. It swallows me whole. The song is fading slowly away, my heart is thumping in my chest. I turn to the aud- ience. Smiling, I take my bow. My feet are done. Turning, I exit. Another performance done. Can't wait for the next. |
When I read this, it really makes me remember heading out on the stage and performing. I thought that image was very clear and vivid in your poem. One thing though, I think you ended it off too abruptly. I would change the ending. But I really like the poem because it brings back the butterfly feeling in my stomach.| Posted on 2006-03-19 00:00:00 | by emanol | [ Reply to This ] | a little choppy- the rhythm is sort of off at times because in a couple of lines it has 4 or 6 syllables, instead of 5 or 7. But I like the way you make the reader feel like they're up on the stage with you- for the first couple of stanzas, at least. But for the last four verses, you kind of threw me off there- somehow the second part doesnt exactly match with the first half. | come visit my site! Jelly Bean | Posted on 2005-05-04 00:00:00 | by Toxic Rose | [ Reply to This ] | |